Little Crooked House
by KIS'E'productions
Summary: Escaping reality was something Kanda always looked down on, but now that he has nothing but a memory of the idiot he fell in love with, pretending the two are the same is all he has left. Kandax14th!Allen.


**Pairings**: Kandax14th!Allen

**Rating: **M, like…Jesus

**Genre: **Angst/Romance

**Warnings: **…eh, non-con on Kanda's part at the beginning; but he enjoys it, Allen being a sadistic little kinky minx, language, blood play, bondage, Mugen, explicitness, foreplay, Allen's personality doing a 180 degree turn…and well, this story **is **mature, you've been warned.

Hm. Since our webbie might take longer than we thought, I think I _might_ just post all my crap back up again, since I don't think it's fair to make anyone wait. Simply, it's not fair. And, well, this one particular fic doesn't have as many plot-holes as all the others, since it's more than anything an AU (dude, just look at the pairing).

Ah, we'll see, we'll see. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed if you haven't yet read this.

---

**Little Crooked House**

_There was a crooked child, who lived in a crooked house._

_Who only knew a crooked love._

**-**

**Chapter I-Fortepiano**

Maybe it was the memory of his annoying smile that kept him going. That prevented him from killing that thing that had taken everything away from him, stopped him from destroying the only trace of that stupid brat that was left. Because in a way, as twisted as it was, this was the closest he would ever be to having him. Even if he knew they were two completely different people, would never be the same.

"Thank you, Link-_san_." Smiling that polite and sweet smile, the sixteen-year-old gave the German a small bow. "I promise to finish as soon as possible, please don't worry."

Shifting the new mountain of papers in his hands to a more comfortable position, the boy smiled again, something dark lurking behind that action. Something like amusement.

The stoic inspector gave a small nod, eyes intently staring at the small exorcist. Passive expression remaining on his face, he said, "Supervisor Komui wishes to see you in his office before lunch, I will be attending some work and will come pick you up when it is time."

Still smiling, Allen nodded again, locks of white hair tickling his cheeks as he bowed for the second time. Examining him for a couple of more quiet seconds, Link swiftly turned around and proceeded to make his way to the scientific section.

He didn't say anything as the inspector left, only continued to lean against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. It was when the snow-haired exorcist turned around to look at him, replacing his sweet little smile with a mocking grin, that he clenched his teeth.

"One day I'm going to snap and kill that pesky man," the boy scoffed, flicking a couple of white tresses from his eyes, annoyed expression on his pretty features. "I don't know how Allen-_rin _managed to stand him for so long, but I guess he has more patience than me. That boy was such a pretty saint."

Smirking, amusement clear in his eyes, the child laughed before he was standing in front of him. Kanda tensed, still not used to how fast this thing was, how different he was from the previous owner of that body. Drawing a disgusted look on his face when gloved hands were placed on his chest, he roughly pushed the other away from himself and made his way to the showers. He was covered in blood, and he needed to get rid of the filth in his hair after his last mission in Russia; the cold weather making the stinging cuts in his skin worse.

That and he desperately needed to just get _away_. He needed a reason, an excuse to avoid him, to not be in the same room as him or else he would end up falling for that fucking illusion again.

"Mou, Yu, are you avoiding me now? I though you said you were going to keep an eye on me."

He stopped for a second, then resumed his walking when he noticed the feather-soft footsteps following him, that tinkling laughter ridiculing him. Fucker, the little shit. Why hadn't he killed him yet, specially after he had taken that-

His head hit stone, his body harshly pushed against the wall behind him as golden eyes locked with his dark ones. Ironically enough, they had ended up near the door leading to the showers, and he tensed when he heard voices rounding the corridor. The _Noah _didn't seem to care, nuzzling his throat as he pressed his small frame against his torso, hands gently massaging his shoulders. Drawing a grimace of disgust on his face, he tried to push him away, anger growing more when the damn parasite refused to budge.

Grabbing the other by his wrist, not bothering to be gentle, he pushed him inside the bathrooms and then later shoved him inside one of the shower stalls. The noises got closer, but he couldn't pay them more attention because he heard the screeching of metal and then he was being drenched by icy water, freezing and it made goose-bumps rise on the skin of his exposed arms.

He turned around, ready to snap at the _Noah _and drag the little shit back to his room and the damp lapdog-but the words died in his mouth.

The white long-sleeved shirt was stuck to his skin, now transparent thanks to the water, its iciness hardening those flushed nipples, so visible against the wet material clinging to the other's skin. He swallowed, averted his eyes but only managed to look away for less than five seconds before he was looking at him again. Seeing those curly white locks framing his flushed face, his pretty childish features, those half-lidded eyes and…the difference between sickly pale skin and ashen gray, of silver eyes and gold ones.

Of a sweet, happy smile instead of a mocking, cynic grin.

"See something you like?" a teasing voice asked. He looked up, meeting amused golden eyes and lightly flushed cheeks, those damn ocher eyes that had begun to fill his dreams.

Refusing to answer him, to even meet his gaze, he scoffed and tried to leave but was stopped when that lithe frame stood in his way out of the shower stall. He was about to snap, maybe punch the fucking bastard in the face and loosen a few teeth, when a stray hand made its way to his crotch. He froze, then trembled with fury when a small, mocking little giggle spilled out of those cherubic lips, hands unbuttoning his trousers.

"It's my fault, is it not? So let me take care of it." The _Noah_ smirked at Kanda's wide eyes before he was roughly shoved against the wall again as the other gripped his erection in a fist. He gritted his teeth, watching the child as golden eyes stared at him with satisfaction as he continued to slowly stroke him into an even harder state of arousal.

Kneeling in front of him, the grinning boy looked up at him with that familiar face.

His stomach quivered a bit as slender fingers danced over his abdomen teasingly, hot lips lightly ghosting half-kisses along his swollen length. A hitched breath escaped him softly as the boy took the head of his cock between his lips, giving a light suck, swallowing the predictable flow of pre-cum.

The golden-eyed male flattened his tongue and ran it slowly up the vein on the underside of Kanda's length before taking him as far as possible into his mouth, using his hand to encircle the portion at the base he couldn't fit in. The Japanese's entire body shook at the feel of the _Noah_'s teeth grazing him when the younger one drew his head back up and then bobbed quickly back down.

Moaning around his member, the boy slurped, fingers tightening around the base as his free hand gripped Kanda's hips for support as he continued to kneel in front of him.

The expression on that face…it was so unfamiliar to him.

Gritting his teeth, he breathed harshly as he looked down, dark tresses tickling his flushed cheeks and hiding his expression from the other's view. Bracing his hands against the wet porcelain wall behind him, he swallowed and looked at the bobbing white head between his thighs.

There was a dark blush on the usual colorless cheeks, his unruly white locks partially hiding his face, but the one thing that made everything so much more worse was that the color of those eyes wasn't the silver he was so used to, but a molten gold shadowed by dark lashes. The skin tone of the hand stroking his length wasn't pale, but dark, and the crosses branded into the child's forehead was an obvious sign that this person kneeling in front of him wasn't that stupid idiot, that hopeless Allen Walker.

Gasping when he felt the tip of his member brush the other's throat, he shook his head and roughly pushed the _Noah _away from him. He turned around, his back to the smaller boy as he covered his face with one of his hands, breathing heavily, not even caring that he had slammed the _Noah _against the stall door hard enough to make him wince.

"Don't touch me," he managed to say between pants, hating the weakness in his voice as he felt warm hands settle on his shoulders. Again, just like always, he wasn't able to hear the other sneak up on him, but he refused to turn around as he continued to grit his teeth and pretend those hands and that voice belonged to someone else.

Like the past six days, it made the pain double.

"You won't."

Cold, and amused, yet there was such firmness in that voice, no doubt to be found. How he hated it, loathed it and detested it with everything he had and didn't. He shuddered when a pair of hands snaked around his waist, trailing lower until they wrapped around his still erect member.

"If you really meant those words…" Kissing the nape of his neck, the _Noah _teasingly brushed his collarbone with those petal soft lips. He could feel that slender frame pressing against his soaked back, the cold water making their clothes stick together as dark tresses were softly blown from his face.

"You would have killed me the second I took Allen Walker away from you, Yu Kanda."

Smiling sardonically, he fought down the shiver that ran up his spine when soft and rough fingers stroked his length, a thumb brushing against the slit of his male and his breath hitched, back rigid and shoulders impossibly tense. Again, he asked himself the same question that had been stalking his mind for almost a week, ever since that first day they had met: Why wasn't he pushing him away?

"It's been six days, so either stop with the petty threats or keep to your word, boy."

Nuzzling his collarbone, hot breath washing over his icy skin, the _Noah _lightly bit at his neck at the same time he came in his hands, soiling both ashen skin and _Innocence_. He trembled, breath shallow now as he tightly closed his eyes once that now familiar disgust embraced him again. It was a quickly familiar feeling, one he had been introduced to ever since the _Noah _had begun their secret encounters, baiting him, goading him on until he ended pushed up against a wall, the golden-eyed boy kneeling in front of him. This wasn't the first time it had happened in the last six days, and he knew he should do something about it, but in the end he never did. And he knew why. Knew why and that only served to make the disgust even stronger.

Why wasn't he pushing him away?

"Someone up there must really hate you," the boy murmured against his damp skin, wrapping his arms around his waist, carefully brushing oval shaped nails against his navel. "That or you did something really naughty, maybe wanted something you never had a right to touch with your cursed and bloodstained hands."

Never meant to have. Heh, how he fucking hated that.

Leaning against his back, the _Noah _ran a hand through his unruly wet locks, not seeming to care that some of the sticky liquid now soiled his hair, stigmata slowly disappearing along with the gold in his eyes. "You're such a sweet child, Yu. I…"

Slowly pulling away from him, the _thing_ placed one last kiss on his neck before locking his now silver gaze with his own, then, a sweet little smile was drawn on his face. "I really am going to enjoy breaking you."

_His _smile.

"So don't ever confuse me with your precious Allen Walker," he spat out the name like a curse, a grimace of disgust on that pretty face at the mention of the owner of the body he wore. "I killed that boy the day I met you, and he disappeared when I awoke. You have your so called God to thank for that, after all, someone like you isn't allowed to play with His dolls."

Kanda didn't look at him, not even when he gave him one last smile and closed the door behind him. Not because he knew he would meet with that familiar face, or because he would see that same smile on his lips, not even because he couldn't bring himself to do it.

It was because he was right.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

He woke in the middle of the night, hot and sticky, his body completely drained from training in an effort to forget the last six days and his prick hard and aching between his legs. Memories of a particularly dream flickered behind his eyelids: Allen supplicant before him, Allen's bared flesh, his taste and smell in Kanda's mouth and nose. The sense-memory of the child's sweet laughter, innocent and vital while those lips murmured those three words-Kanda hissed, spilling himself in only a few hard strokes with the image of Allen under him, cheeks flushed and eyes teary with his mouth open and gasping as Kanda fucked him like he was killing him.

Panting harshly, he gripped his hair and buried his face in his knees as he tried to control his breathing. He cursed, slamming his fist against the wall, caring little when his knuckles began to bleed as he hissed and cursed again.

It had been the same thing. Always, always, fucking always. That same dream he always dreamed ever since that first day when he woke up to lips gently kissing his own, soft hands brushing his hair and words that he would never hear from the one that he truly wanted.

A dream of silver eyes instead of gold ones. Of a sweet and warm smile instead of mocking grins that did nothing but spill salt on a profusely bleeding wound.

It was still there, raw and aching, the desire and the fucking want. He didn't know for how long he had been having these dreams, how many days he had come with the image of that little idiot in his head, crying, gasping his name as he took him. It had come to the point where it had physically hurt, having to stop himself from just grabbing him and slamming him against a wall, taking him. Willing or not, he was too deep in to care, the desire that strong. But he had learned to control it, quiet it down, bury it deep enough so it wouldn't be noticed. He learned to look at the kid without having his eyes linger on his lips too much, on that pale skin that was sometimes exposed when they sparred together. But most of all he had learned to talk to him without letting any of that want seep into his voice, and for that he was glad.

Yet, all of that had changed now.

There no longer was an Allen Walker. There was only that fucking _Noah_, that little piece of shit and his seductive touches that had made the damp break, all of that pent up water rushing out with no way to stop it. If he had prided himself in something, it had been his self-control. Kanda could want and want all he wanted, but he had never been weak enough to let that want control him. Specially when it concerned Allen Walker, that damn desire that hungered for more than just his flesh.

But hunger was just hunger now, without the threat of rejection and he could indulge in all those interesting things he'd left previously ignored. If he thought about it, he realized that Allen had brought out the same reaction in the past: sex and violence as weapons and ending in something perverse; the only thing better than beating the brat would have been to completely have him as his own. Trapped as he was, Kanda couldn't stop himself from indulging that thought more and more often until he was so wrapped up in it that he didn't want to go back. And that was just the trouble-how much he _wanted_.

It was a pain in the ass in the middle of a fight, because instead of working on wiping the floor with the fucking _Noah_, Kanda found himself preoccupied landing blows on exposed skin and getting in close enough to scent the mocking parasite while they grappled.

Kanda couldn't tell if the change went unnoticed or not, but then again, he'd been getting right up into the _Noah_'s personal space ever since that morning six days ago.

Smiling bitterly, he ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head to dispel the memory from his mind. He had already decided after all, that he would kill the damn _Noah _if he stepped out of line. Acting like the stupid _Moyashi_, socializing with the brat's friends, fighting the _akuma _and retrieving _Innocence_, that had been the only things the parasite had done in these past six days.

It only made it that much worse, because it was as if he was still here, him and his stupid smiles and all those hopeless dreams.

Maybe it was that frustration, along with the disgustingly muggy days that left him feeling tight in his own skin. It drove him after the _Noah_ even more doggedly than ever. Starved and pissed and too restless to sleep, he confronted the parasite one morning while they were, once again, partnered for a mission in southern France, killing _akuma _near the riverfront. Kanda watched him, unseen; the _Noah_'s coat was ripped along his abdomen, skin shining with sweat to draw an answering heat in his belly. It brought back what he'd imagined so often before: Allen's slender body stretched out naked and straining, bending taut as a bowstring with only Kanda to release him.

The_ Noah_ chased after a last _akuma _as it fled into the dimness of an empty building, too preoccupied to register his presence. Kanda followed at his own pace and the _akuma _was turning to dust at the boy's feet as his eyes adjusted to the shade.

"I thought I told you to stay with the damn inspector, _Noah_," he bit out, mood worsening even more when those slender shoulders relaxed as if soothed by his voice.

"Oh, Yu, were you worried about me?"

Glaring at him, he didn't bother with an answer, too pissed to give one. It was always that, anger and then more anger followed by that want. That want, because no matter what, they still had the same face.

"Ah come on, don't be like that!" the _Noah_ cocked his head to the side and grinned, making Kanda's anger rise even further. "You were having so much fun a day ago."

"Shut it," Kanda ground out, mopping his hairline with the edge of his hand. He wondered, not for the first time, when he had gotten so weak. So desperate, so pathetic, so stupid, that seeing this little shit's face was able to lessen the constricting feeling in his chest.

"You're breaking my heart."

"You don't have one."

"Would it matter if I did as long as I look like him?"

Kanda's brows were pinching into the peeved little folds he got when the _Noah_ hit a nerve. It reminded him of the hackles on a tiny, yapping dog because there wasn't much else it could do but look big and make noise. Dry smile on his lips, he felt that tightness in his chest again for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Something that was quickly becoming familiar ever since that morning that had broken everything to pieces at his feet.

He stalked closer, golden eyes amused, puffs of dust rising at his feet. "Stop making it sound like you don't enjoy my company, we both know it's a lie."

"You're such an arrogant little shit aren't you?" he snapped, irritated, hating the way the bastard could so easily get a rise out of him. "You tell yourself all sorts of lies, doesn't make them true."

"Sure it does. You're just so slow you haven't caught on to them yet. If you were any dumber I'd have to water you, Yu."

Leveling the _Noah _with a sharp glare, full of hatred as the small boy walked closer to him. There was something deeply satisfying about being close enough into the monster's space that the little fuck had to tip his head back to meet Kanda's eyes. It made him have the tiniest bit of power in a repeating situation where he barely had any, something that was up until now, completely unfamiliar to him except for that fucking flower in his room. It was the same kind of helplessness, and he didn't know which one he hated the most.

He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Let's have a game, Yu. You try to show me how wrong I am and fail miserably." He flicked a nonexistent speck off Kanda's uniformed collar and got his hand slapped away.

He rested his sword on one shoulder, light from the outside making his teeth shine sharp and white and bared in a smile. "I think I'm a little too old to play with toys, especially the kind with only one trick to them."

Fluttering his dark lashes at him, the _Noah _blew him a kiss. "You'll soon find out that I have more than one way to amuse you, and definitely better that Allen-_rin _ever did. After all, did he ever spread his legs for you?"

"Heh." Now if that wasn't a challenge, Kanda didn't know what fucking was, like dangling meat over a pit of tigers. So he punched the little fucker right in his fucking mouth, wiping the smile off and splitting his lip.

"Aw, was that really necessary?" the _Noah_ whined, smearing red across his chin with a sleeve.

He grimaced, disgusted. "Shut your mouth, go back to the cathedral."

If he stayed here, if he continued to stare at him with that face and those eyes that despite looking so different were still able to remind him of _him_, he knew he was going to make the same damn mistake again. Falling for his lies, for that sweet voice that was still the same and those seductive touches that were only meant to kill him slowly and grind him into dust.

"Hm, did you forget who you're _playing_ with?" the _Noah_ sneered. "I like watching you bleed."

Just like that, all of it came rushing up like a torrent in his gut. He wanted to taste the kid's blood now that he'd spilled it, from his reddened mouth or from his open throat if Kanda could get at it. Those disgusting urges he had always had, the ones that had only increased ever since the damn _Noah _had given him a taste of _his _lips the first time they had met, how they all sickened him. So much to the point of wanting to empty his stomach, for hating himself, hating himself for still having those damn urges even when he knew they weren't the same person. Even if they shared the same face.

He lunged for him and the _Noah _simply snatched his sword arm, dragging him off-balance and chasing after his mouth with his own. It opened under his in shock-_Not desire, never desire, because it wasn't _him_-_and almost immediately he could feel the other exploring every nook and cranny his warm tongue could find. His blood was sharp, tongue moving against Kanda's own for a slippery moment before he bit down, their flavors mingling, and he was hard now-disgusted at himself as his knee knifed between them to slam into the snow-haired boy's stomach.

Hissing, the _Noah_ jumped away, landing in a protective crouch and gritting his teeth around the stolen taste.

"Ow, that _hurt_-" he snarled as Kanda sprang at him, an angry flush pinking his cheeks as he caught the hilt of his sword against the boy's head in a sharp cuff. Insult to injury, and then more injury on top of that; the abbreviated story of his fucking life.

The _Noah_'s fingers were snagged in his hair, yanking his head back-"Ask first, Yu," he murmured, and then he was kissing him again, lips hard and demanding.

Kanda's brain stalled for a moment, leaving him gaping like a fish before he surged against the other, growling into his mouth and sucking on his tongue. The Musician's hands were strangely cool as they clutched against his bare skin, over his stomach and hips. The smell of his lust was heady and feverish and wholly unexpected; Kanda could feel his own winding against it like a tightening wire.

There was a distinct ring of metal as his sword fell at his side, dropped to leave both hands free, roaming and busy. _That_ got Kanda's attention real fast, not that the kid even noticed. The loss of immediate control was foolish and reckless and though it wasn't a complete surrender, Kanda knew that he could take just _so much_ with hands and mouth to feel the _Noah _tense and gasp against him. He wanted to tear through those layers of cloth, stripping Allen bare and spreading him open-like he had wanted to do some many times, see those teary silver eyes staring up at him with lust and want…but when he pulled their mouths apart his dark eyes met amused golden ones.

"You really want him, don't you?" the _Noah_ nipped along his jaw to pull at an earlobe. "Want to fuck, then?"

Tightly closing his eyes, gritting his teeth, he balled his hands into fists as his anger grew even more. Then, he drew a bitter smile on his lips.

He had dreamed of those words so many times, out of that same mouth and with that same sweet voice…but no matter how much he closed his eyes and pretended, it wasn't the same. Would never be. Allen Walker would _never _say those words, not to him, not to anyone. Not when he had to save this rotting, disgusting world he loved so much, the one thing he seemed to love more than anything or anyone else.

He had never stood a chance, and no matter how much he knew that, he still wasn't strong enough to not be affected by the fucking _Noah_'s mocking words. A faux of what could never be because Allen would have never wanted it. A weakness he just couldn't get rid of no matter how much he wanted to discard it and throw it away, never feel it again.

"Fuck off," he forced the words out, wincing when the _Noah_'s mouth began to attack his Adam's apple and that was about as much as he could say with the kid's hands sweeping over him like they were.

Their mouths were brought together by the Fourteenth's fingers scrabbling along the ridges of his hair and Kanda used one sharp canine to worry at his split lower lip, feeling the boy tremble like a tuning fork. His skin was warm against Kanda's chest as he held them together with a hand swept under the boy's clothing and braced against his sweat-slicked spine. As if he were _human_, something more than a fucking parasite, as if he was just like _him_.

He bore the brat against him and down until they hit the ground in a tangle of limbs. Allen's body arched, hissing "Yu"-a gasping sound that bared his throat and Kanda went after it, fluttering pulse burning naked under his mouth. With his teeth at the vein, he knew he could break the _Noah_ easily and taste him raw as he poured out-something that didn't go unnoticed as the golden-eyed male made a thin, hitching breath. He shivered against Kanda's tongue, a small, involuntary panic before the kid's hips drove up, grinding himself against one of Kanda's trapped legs, shameless.

He groaned at that, everything about the _Noah _just so fucking _needy_ it was indecent. He hated that too, because the little idiot had been so benevolent, always giving and giving when he barely had anything left to give after giving so much. The beat of the kid's blood thumping against his palms as they slid over the soft skin of his stomach caused his heart to beat faster, a hitching breath slipping past his own lips. Those same muscles leapt and knit against Kanda's mouth as he traveled down, all the _Noah_'s tethered strength coiling under his touch.

The kid had a hard on like a rock digging into Kanda's thigh and he wedged his own against Allen's hip, the contact making him hiss as he rested his forehead against that slender collarbone. The other's hands strayed blindly down and against the muscles in his stomach, trailing along the edge of his hips like a morbid curiosity. It dragged a shiver out of the _Noah_'s mouth that Kanda could feel build at his spine and travel its length.

"Mmm," the _Noah_ moaned. "_Ah_-Yu, keep going."

He tensed at the sound of his voice like that, rasping and breathy. One hand shot to the front of Kanda's black coat, tearing the buttons away and roughly pulling the garment down his shoulders until it was riding low on his hips, their bodies still locked tightly together. But it was his voice that dispersed the lusty haze in his head, so alike yet so different because Allen would never call his name with that wanton tone he had always wanted to hear from him. Never, never, _never_.

"Shit," he cursed, hand still sliding over the bare skin of the boy's stomach, wanting to taste and touch and get _inside_. "Shit," he cursed again, angry, furious.

What was he doing? What was he _doing_? Was he so weak, so pathetic, so damn desperate enough to do this, with this _thing_? Disgusting. He tasted bile in his mouth again, acidic and bitter as he immediately pulled away from the soft and pliant body underneath him. His hand was shaking slightly as he cursed under his breath, disgust growing as he continued to feel the warmth of the _Noah_'s touches-touches that felt so much like _his _on his skin, raw and biting and so very real_._

Just as fast, ashen fingers were around his wrist like iron, holding him still and in place. Kanda gritted his teeth, barely able to react as the smaller boy lurched upwards, fisting his free hand in the collar of his shirt and pushing him back violently. The _Noah_'s golden eyes were hard and narrowed, voice ground out through bared teeth, "We're-not-done."

Kanda tried to jerk his wrist out of the bruising grip, so pissed off he could put a fist straight through the thing's guts and not even feel regret afterward. His lip curled, "Don't say another word unless you want me to cut off your tongue."

"I never said you could leave!" the child snapped, his lips thinned angrily. And he was forced to notice how alike they looked again, how good the boy looked in that moment, almost like he was coming undone, exorcist coat pulled off one shoulder leaving an arm bare-skin Kanda had always wanted to spoil.

His teeth clenched, unable to stop a low growl from coming out along with his voice. "You little shit. Get the fuck off of me before I-"

"You can lie to yourself all you want, but both you and I know how much you want him," the Fourteenth said, words bitten out hard enough that they ghosted across Kanda's face, distracting. He had the _Noah_ practically in his lap-almost making him forget how wrong this was-and the parasite darted forward, tonguing coppery sweat off his chin and making his breath catch.

With one hand still free, Kanda wondered what he could do if the damn bastard didn't listen. He could close his fingers around that slender throat, turn him over and finally kill him just that easily, like he should have done that first day almost a week ago. Kanda knew he'd enjoy doing it. He'd enjoy it as much as he would regret it, hating himself even more afterwards. It wouldn't be a victory, it wouldn't even be revenge, it would be nothing and would only leave an even bitter taste in his mouth.

But he also knew this would be the only time he would have this small body like this; Allen would have never allowed him to touch him like he was doing now. It would be the only time to see Allen as he was now, reckless and hungry-smelling like sex and just fucking desperate. Kanda knew he wanted that more than anything, again and again until everything the brat had was given up. He wanted to drive Allen right out of his fucking mind, take the time to just pull the little idiot apart and listen to his voice go hoarse as he begged for more.

The _Noah_ shifted against him, cock still poking into his thigh and Kanda had to close his eyes hard to keep them from rolling in his head, a breath hissing between his teeth.

"Either choose, or stop wasting my time." He released his wrist with an abrupt jerk, dropping his hand to graze a thumbnail over the edge of his stomach. "I could care less about you, I simply chose to bother _you _because your feelings for him were so pathetically obvious. Like a lost puppy trailing after a master that never bothered to spare you a second glance. But it doesn't have to be you, it doesn't matter to me, I could always go bother that young bookman."

Licking his bottom lip, looking at him from underneath his dark lashes, the _Noah _grinned at him as he ran a hand in his curly white locks.

"He looks delicious too, and I'm sure he wouldn't deny me if I gave him a little bit of information on my old family." Lips curing into a sultry smile, he cocked his head to the side, staring straight at him. "What do you think, Yu, should I let that so called 'Lavi' have Allen-_rin_'s first time?"

Kanda snapped his eyes open and shoved the _Noah_, spilling him hard on his back.

"Don't you fucking dare." He pinned him with a hand splayed against his chest, the boy's heart beating a rapid staccato rhythm against his palm. "Don't decide things for him, it's his damn fucking body you-"

He tried not to look at him, at that pretty infantile face, at those soft lips that had smiled and scowled at him so many times. "What even makes you think I want that little idiot-"

"Oh please, Yu, those petty words only make you look even more pathetic." Giggling, those golden eyes laughed at him. "After all those months you spent dreaming of him, of _this_, of him like this, are actually thinking twice about it?"

"Get off of me," Kanda's voice was an incensed snarl as he squirmed away, tangling in his uniform.

The Fourteenth didn't let him get far, snaking between his legs and palming his cock through his trousers. Kanda stiffened, raised up on his elbows and glaring, his breath coming in sharp little pants. The purpled ring of a bruise was starting to show on his throat, but it disappeared almost as soon as it had been made, something the snow-haired child seemed slightly peeved about. But then he shrugged, now familiar grin on his face as he pushed him on his back.

Leaning against his chest, the boy's cherubic lips parted, moaning as he kissed his neck. "Come on, Yu, play with me a little or I won't be able to sleep tonight."

"Go jerk off, you crazy fuck!" He punched the other's temple and the blow landed with a dull thud, thrown at an awkward angle.

Grinning, the _Noah_ caught his arm before he could wind up anything else, crushing their mouths together and swallowing the rest of his words. Their teeth met with a hard clack and he could taste the edge of desire on the brat's tongue; lusting maybe, but it didn't make it any better, despite how good it felt. It was still the _Noah_, it wasn't that stupid little idiot the one who was kissing him. With the loose fabric of his coat pooled around him, the _Noah_ looked like he was coming apart and Kanda didn't know if he wanted to make sure that he did or if he wanted something else.

"Really, Yu, do you think you'll ever get another chance to make your dreams come true?"

Shoulders tense, he refused to answer. Knowing, fucking knowing that no matter what he could say, the other would just turn it around, twisting the knife in his chest even more.

"You're such an ungrateful child, I'm handing you what you've always wanted in a silver platter and yet you're spitting it back in my face." Biting his bottom lip, the small boy ran his ashen hands in his dark hair, yanking on it hard and rough and without care, grinning at his slight flinch.

"You really are stupid, _Bakanda_," he muttered in his ear, licking his cheek as he completely tensed, teeth clenched viciously to the point of physical pain.

His hands slid to the other's small waist, feeling him tense and breathing against his mouth, "I hate you," he bit out, loath in every word, "I hate you, so don't you _ever _call me that again unless you want me to slice your throat open."

He mouthed down the boy's abdomen, earning a bitten-off gasp as his tongue flicked into the dip of the smaller one's navel, dragging his shirt off and licking up the side of his cock. It drew an abortive little stutter from the other's hips as Kanda held them tightly, swallowing the _Noah _down, his hair brushing against one quivering thigh.

The other made a shocked sort of sound as Kanda took him, somewhere between a gasp and moan and going straight to Kanda's own member, hard and ignored. With no friction to be had and unwilling to let go, he just gripped the boy tighter, tonguing the underside of his cock and making him shiver like an over wound watch. All Kanda could think of was, if things were different, if the person he had underneath was someone else, how good it would be if he were inside, taking Allen while he moved like he was-like breaking him to pieces, careful control stripped away to leave him utterly naked. The child's breath was ragged as though each one was dragged from the bottom of his lungs and Kanda watched his head tip back, jaw clenched and spine bending. It wasn't going to take much to set him off, twisted as tight as he was, and it would be Kanda's hands and mouth that did it. Even when the person he had in his hands wasn't the one he really wanted, he would settle for this pathetic and stupid illusion. He wanted _him _enough to do this.

He slid a hand under the small boy's arching back, fingers trailing over the base of his spine and into the cleft of his ass. Panting, the _Noah_ made a choked sound at that, almost something with words and Kanda could feel the muscles tightening all through his body. Fingers curled in his dark hair, clumsy and convulsive as though the _Noah_ lost his use of them, everything given up until his body went rigid in a single long moment. The Musician's release was a warm-bitter rush against the back of his tongue like something torn from deep inside him.

His hand was wrapped around his own member so fast it almost hurt, surging over the small boy to lean the length of his body. Sweat itched along his back as his mouth grazed against anything within reach until the _Noah_ drew their mouths together, hands still knotted in his hair. Kanda was sure he still had the taste of the other male's semen in his mouth, but the _Noah_ didn't seem to care.

Then a long, slender leg was looped around him and Kanda found himself flipped on his back, straddled as his head thumped violently against the paved ground.

"Shit." He pitched against the _Noah_ before cool fingers circled his cock, driving his hips bucking up. Allen's slender body draped over him, mouth sucking greedily at the juncture of Kanda's neck and shoulder, almost biting. Kanda shuddered, panting; and he hated the fact that the rushing sensations were enough to make him forget the disgusting act he was doing, cock thrusting to meet Allen's soft hands with a quick snap of his hips.

He tried to say something-a protest, an insult-but it got carried off into some incomprehensible sound as the _Noah_ did exactly what he wanted. Kanda could feel his climax building up, choking on his own tongue as one nimble finger slid over the slit in his dick. It teased at his foreskin and that was all it took for the _Noah_ to get him coming, dirtying that pretty little hand even as it continued to move against him.

White noise danced under Kanda's eyelids but he couldn't bring himself to open them. The kid's breath was loud in his ear and he pushed the _Noah_ away, their skin sticking together where it touched. Kanda's coat was plastered against his back, making him feel suddenly and acutely damp.

He frowned. "Get off."

He was going to be sick, even and when there was nothing in his stomach, he knew he was going to be sick. There was a bile and retching taste in his mouth, one he hadn't been able to get rid of for the past six days no matter how much he had tried. It was never enough, just like the water. It was never hot enough to wash off the dirty feeling that clung to his skin from the _Noah_'s touches, even though they felt just like _his _because they had the same hands.

"Mmm, give me a minute, I just did." The _Musician_'s voice had a lilting, slap-happy edge to it. And then he was kissing Kanda, slow and languid, tongue making deep strokes in his mouth. It was unexpected and completely sickening, and the young boy gave a small, content murmur; the sound of a satisfied cat sighing in its sleep.

His knees were spread over him, body a solid weight across Kanda's hips and thighs bared by his tangled, loose exorcist coat. Kanda drew his pliant form closer, hands on the _Noah_'s naked hips and he seemed to melt, unresisting. Fuck, Kanda could feel himself getting ready to go again, in a low, lazy way; the Fourteenth's fingers in his hair and against his scalp making him sleepy and sated. The kid would just not stop kissing him, like he was breathing through Kanda's mouth, lips and tongue perfectly happy in mounting an internal exploration of parts unknown.

Kanda rolled them, landing the child on his back as gently as he could (not _him_, it wasn't _him _anymore) so his limbs flopped limp as a rag doll's. The _Noah_'s golden eyes were closed with the beginnings of a supremely shit-eating grin showing at the corners of his bruised mouth. "I want," the boy started, and Kanda watched his throat work as he swallowed. "Let's do it again."

He spread a hand over the other's flat stomach, not knowing whether he wanted to hurt or to caress. "Get dressed."

_Again_ was a nice word. Even nicer when it was coming out of _his _mouth while he looked almost boneless-debauched and taken. And Kanda had been the one to do it; it made a little shiver of disgust start up his stomach that turned rapidly into a strange, nauseated flutter. The feeling only climbed higher when Kanda tried to suppress it, clenching his jaw hard as it flooded his chest until he couldn't breathe.

He tucked himself back into his pants, staggering to his feet abruptly and that was a mistake as he swayed on unsteady legs. Sickness inside him and nothing to vomit out-Kanda had never lost his guts in his life and now that damn _thing _had him clenching his throat around bile.

"Hum, are you feeling unwell, Yu?" the _Noah_ had noticed, sitting up and-half naked with that pretty skin completely bare for him to see, reddening marks forming on his flesh-just looking at that familiar body made him want so much it was like he'd been knocked flat on his ass.

He could fuck the kid all over again and it wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't be same, it wouldn't be _him _moaning his name and looking at him. A sudden inexplicable panic clawed up his chest; a need to run, fast, anywhere else but where he was.

The _Noah_ was watching him with the same expression the little idiot would have given him, and no matter how much he knew it was fake, a simple act to break him, it made Kanda want to kill him. Made him want to trust him and fall for the illusion.

"Piss off!" he ground out, leaping through a gap in the ceiling and skipping over rooftops, anything to get further away.

He ended up on the other side of the small French city, the _Noah_'s presence flickering like a candle seen from a distance. Kanda sank to his knees, shivering under a cold sweat and wondering what the fuck the kid had done to him to shake him up so bad.

It wouldn't leave him, the urge to run, to just _get the fuck away_. Kanda hated it and hated it more because he knew exactly why. Most of all, he hated Allen fucking Walker because every time the _Noah_'s eyes, eyes that were supposed to be silver, stared at his own, his senses jerked to full attention like little slivers of metal drawn to a magnet. Brought with it was a rush of anger and hopelessness like a rising tide; something in his primitive hindbrain was set just fucking screaming.

"Heh. Little moron, you promised you wouldn't let it beat you."

He tried to sweat it out like a fever, meditating under the dreary sun and cold wind until his skin itched. It didn't help. His subconscious was stuck on a broken loop of the dirtiest, most profane film it could come up with-which was pretty fucking bad, or more than bad; Kanda truthfully hadn't decided. He hadn't jumped the kid for a fight or anything else since the last time, unreasonably paranoid that he was seeing the future while he slept: fights that were brutal and vicious, meant to leave the other man bleeding and shattered on the ground. And then, like the spoils of war, Kanda could just take and take and _take_.

Problem was-and he liked to blame it on waking up in a sex-stupid high-in Kanda's mind, he wasn't quite winning each of those fights. That was what made everything more wrong, more twisted. When losing turned out just as good as winning, when the _Noah _made sure that the outcome, whatever it could be, ended up with the two of them in bed. Because what _would_ the damn parasite do in that same situation? Kanda really wanted to know; he imagined himself beaten, shoved up against something hard with the _Noah_ behind him, cock filling him up just like he fucking _belonged_ there…Kanda was too proud to even begin to accept that, and it seemed like a very personal betrayal by his libido, as if payback for having been ignored so long.

When he managed to shake his head loose of the warm, muddled glow of a dream filled with teeth-achingly good sex, he was left just fucking _pissed_ that his brain was so easily hijacked. The biggest bitch of them all was that he couldn't take it out on anyone else; Kanda was pretty sure he didn't even _want_ anyone else. Especially when the _Noah _had proven just how one-hundred-fucking-percent willing he was to help Kanda out with this little problem.

It had been the same way with Allen. Up until he had shown up, he had been perfect with his solitude, always being left alone. But then the damn kid had walked into his life with his stupid smiles and promises of a happy ending after the war, and no matter how much he had ignored him he had never managed to get him out of his mind and in the end the small boy had made a permanent home in his head. He had hated him for that, for ruining his habitual routine, for destroying all of his goals and making him want him more than he wanted anything else.

Then the boy had grown up, still childish and stupid, but he had changed. The smiles were more forced, that cheery attitude more easy to see trough, lies so transparent it was pathetic, and he hadn't known how to handle that because he didn't want him to see how much he really affected him. So he had been harsher, had refused to pity him and coddle him like everyone else had done and continued to refuse to treat him like the child he really was. After they had been partnered together for so many missions, he had given in and grudgingly agreed to train the idiot, taught him how to use a sword, use those excuses to be close to him without giving away any of those desires he had long ago decided he would never act on. Using the trading blows and mocking insults as a way to sate his growing desire to have him in his bed and under him, even if it had never been enough.

The one thing that had made his repeating and monotone routine more interesting was that he had still been able pound the kid in a fight after he had reached the one hundred percent synchronization rate, and now he couldn't even do that. His _dick_-and dragging along with it, his brain-was suddenly a lot keener on the idea of keeping the little shit of a _Noah _safe and in one piece, if only so he could keep whatever was left of that idiotic _Moyashi_ alive.

It was stupid, not to mention pathetic. The last effort of a desperate man to have the last bits of a lost love, something ridiculously pitiable and something that he would have never seen himself doing. But now, now he couldn't seem to stop himself from wanting to have the last remains of that damn little idiot, when months ago he had wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe that was the fucking irony of it.

Life, he realized, was generally unfair. He'd hoped that in time the urge of wanting to have him would pass, like tearing off an itchy scab. Now it was just exposed and bleeding, demanding his attention after the _Noah _had taken the boy away.

Kanda tamped it all down as though he were filling the void in himself, burying it deep and paving over it with boulders. This was a weakness he hadn't seen as such before, something that would leave him not only captive but subservient to the architect of his problems. He'd slit his own throat before that happened; he'd slit the _Noah_'s if the fucker gave him the chance, Allen or no Allen.

Now if only he could bring himself to keep that promise when the time came.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

The days dragged on, taking with it the last of Kanda's frayed nerves.

Ever since they'd had sex, the _Noah_ had been conspicuously absent. They had been given separate missions, different partners that had finally broken the routine of waking up to another mission and those mocking grins that made something in him tighten to the point of physical pain.

He didn't know what to think about. Be glad that he was finally rid of those cynic comments, the unwanted yet wanted touches and that childish face that made those ever present feelings resurface? Or angry. Annoyed, detesting himself and his weakness of wanting to see those infantile features, that sweet smile that twisted into a baiting smirk when their gazes crossed and those golden eyes that were painfully familiar to silver ones.

But when things extended to the following week and then the third, his mental state was well and firmly shot.

It led Kanda to operate under an even greater level of low-grade animosity towards just about everything. Irritable and restless, he barely paid attention to the point that even Lenalee noticed. When she asked, he just ignored her, passing it off to a late night missions and not enough sleep. She'd smiled-not a _knowing_ one, but a kind one-and Kanda could tell then that he was being extremely defensive. He didn't even know what he would've said had she pressed him, because he _hadn't_ had a long night, hadn't even been able to catch a single wink of sleep in days.

And it wasn't for lack of trying: when he received missions, he'd reach the coordinates to find only the occasional bloodthirsty, violent wandering _akuma_; the _Noah_'s presence palpable in the area, following him, but the parasite himself never lingering long enough for him to find him. The part the asshole usually enjoyed most was rubbing in the fact that he'd stolen Kanda's prey, and it only managed to piss Kanda off more that he didn't.

More often than not, instead of out training, Kanda found himself alone in his room staring at the ceiling and unable to sleep.

Memories circled his brain and tightened his body; sometimes it was enough to drive him aimlessly wandering around the Tower, stupidly hoping he'd cross paths with the _Noah_-as though he was nursing an embarrassing crush. He could just as easily fix the problem himself, but masturbation was becoming so routine it was almost mechanical.

Neither avenue was exactly satisfying. The fact that the source of his frustration was stubbornly avoiding him only served to make everything that much worse. This pathetic weakness, how he hated it.

There was a sort of crystalline clarity that occurred only at two in the morning when Kanda knew he'd have to be up and carrying on life as normal in only a few hours. He had a hard time calling the _Noah_'s behavior anything other than evasive-but he knew that wasn't true; it could also be a dismissal, as though the _Noah_ had gotten everything he wanted and had no further use for him.

The latter idea pissed him off the worst, because if that stupid prick thought things were over Kanda couldn't wait to show him how wrong he was. He had promised himself he would keep the little shit alive, if only as a stupid way to have the last remains of Allen to himself.

_It was just sex_, he repeated mentally. People did it all the time. People, admittedly, who weren't Allen. But again, bitterly so, he reminded himself that that thing wasn't the stupid _Moyashi_. Like always, that reminder left him feeling even emptier, self-disgust so strong that it sometimes ached like a bleeding wound and hurt worse than the real ones.

If he was certain of anything, it was that it would always be just sex with the fucking _Noah_. Stupidly, he'd completely ignored any other complications until it was too late to take things back, and it left him more angry at himself than ever. Was he really so badly led around by his own dick? Kanda had never acted on such impulses with Allen before because he knew better: it was a treacherous distraction in the thick of a fight and unfair to the kid if he forced his feelings on him. Allen was an idiot, he would feel like he _owed _him, like he had to return Kanda's feelings and be with him even if he didn't want to. Kanda didn't want that, never had, pride too big to accept such pity.

It was one of the reasons that things had inexplicably worked-or obviously _hadn't_, Kanda bitterly reminded himself-with Allen: he knew where he stood with the other boy. Getting emotionally attached wasn't exactly in the cards. Heated attraction tempered with mutual hatred didn't tend to produce anything that lasted.

As much as he had wanted to, he had restrained himself from chasing after the stupid brat. Then he really _would_ be acting like an idiot, and he felt like a big enough one to begin with.

He knew he shouldn't have been relieved, but when another dull night was interrupted by a mission-a near one, no less-Kanda was almost grateful for it. The rabbit and the woman were supposed to join him but Kanda didn't care to wait for them, itching for a fight as he was, needing a distraction.

His boots made scuffing steps, barely touching the rooftops as he raced towards the _akuma_. There were two groups spread on either side of the city, and he could feel the _Noah_ near one already, always managing to lose his inspector and sneak out without being detected. It made a small, nagging worry surface-the _Noah_ was always mercurial, and Kanda had no doubts that the Fourteenth's loyalty lay only to himself. He may haven't done anything to destroy the Black Order yet, or help his 'family', but that didn't mean he wouldn't in the near future. That's why he had to keep an eye on him, because when the time came and the _Noah _finally decided to act on his own, he wanted to be the one to kill him. He didn't know why he wanted to be the one to do it. Maybe it was something stupid, like revenge, or because he wanted to get back at him for making the last weeks hell for him, as childish as it was.

He didn't know why, but he was sure he didn't want to find out either.

Amused smile on his lips, the Musician was locked in a grapple with them, glancing up and grinning as Kanda approached. He broke away leaving the _akuma_'s arm dangling as though it had been pulled loose from his shoulder. The _Noah_ alighted on the edge of a building and Kanda joined him, a small tension easing inside him. Kanda didn't want to be relieved, but he was. The fucking parasite didn't seem to care about the body he was using, didn't care if he damaged it or not, and it was stupid and made him even more pissed off, but he couldn't seem to be able to stop himself from making sure Allen's body remained in good condition. It was the only thing left of him after all. The only thing he had now.

"Yu!" A shallow slash on the _Noah_'s forehead left that pale skin stained with red, teeth bared like a calcite knife. "I missed you, I'm sorry I haven't been able to play with you in so long."

Just seeing him again after the days of conspicuous absence was enough to set Kanda's heart banging away in his chest. "Where the hell were you?" he asked, stupidly, the words out of his mouth before he realized he hadn't just thought them. He wanted to bite off his own tongue for laying it out so plainly, a soft spot for the fucking thing to poke at.

Golden eyes looked at him oddly for a moment before they narrowed. "Hn, it seems you haven't been sleeping well, boy."

Then he was next to him, footsteps not even making a sound as he drew along his side, one hand threading in his curly white hair. The gesture was disturbingly intimate and Kanda could feel hot needles prickling over his skin.

The _Noah_'s lips brushed his ear, smiling through his words, "You just can't wait to get between my legs again, huh? So cute."

Kanda twisted away and punched him in the face, cheeks warmer than they had a right to be. The other barely seemed to register the blow, instead slamming his knee into the samurai's stomach and sending him staggering back. He gritted his teeth, spitting out a mouthful of blood. "Can't you ever keep fucking quiet and do what you're told?"

"I'm the same as always," the golden-eyed male answered with a bubbling giggle. "Guess I missed you too, exorcist."

The level III was at his back in an instant, and he could only grip his sword even tighter as the _Noah_ blocked the attack casually. He glared at the _akuma _as though he were nothing more than a nuisance. "Leave. I'm busy."

He seized the opportunity as the two grappled, darting forward to leave a deep gash across the _akuma_'s chest and sending the machine out of reach and coughing up dark, coppery liquid.

The Fourteenth scowled in irritation. "Mou, he was mine-"

"Shut the fuck up! I have more important things right now than a fight with you."

"Heh, rather it be you than this filth," the snow-haired child said. "Let's finish up with these two so I can play with you again."

Kanda was at him in an instant, flushing with fury and something close to shame. He knew the _Noah_ was baiting him, pissed that it was working. "If you don't leave and keep quiet I'll make sure they'll lock you in a padded cell."

"That's more like it," the small boy said, catching the collar of his shirt and dragging them together, his voice low. "I should've let you have me a long time ago seeing how fast it gets you this serious."

Kanda said nothing, only clenching his teeth until he tasted metal in his mouth.

"I keep remembering those pretty noises you made when you had me underneath you. I can smell how bad you want it right now and it's only making me want to have you even more." As if to emphasize the point, the small boy looped a spidery hand against the small of his back, his knee against his crotch. Kanda twisted his wrist sharply, digging his trapped sword into Allen's skin and breaking through his exorcist coat as they tore apart.

The Musician's claw-like fingers left deep scratches across his hip and Kanda sucked air through clenched teeth, his throat tight. But he welcomed the physical pain; it masked his sharp humiliation, focusing him on what mattered.

A static burst behind them had Kanda turning, but the _Noah_ beat him to the level IV _akuma_. "It's rude to interrupt," he said, hand covering its face like a shroud, "stay out of the way while mommy and daddy are busy."

The _akuma_'s scream was engulfed by a white blast that took off its head and one shoulder, the rest of its body disintegrating as it stumbled and fell. Blood splattered on his face, but he didn't bother to close his eyes as some of the dark liquid caught in his lashes. Bitter, metallic, he was more than used to it. It had stopped bothering him years ago, the smell of death.

"Aw, how sad; you let the bad guys get away," the shorter male simpered. "Just you and me now, my little hero."

"Get out of my way," Kanda gritted out, seething at the loss of his enemy, his only distraction, seething at the Fourteenth. "I'm not playing whatever game you think this is, you little shit."

"Is that right?" The _Noah_'s tongue flicked across his bleeding bottom lip. "And you seemed to be having so much _fun_ last time."

His sword snapped against the other's left hand, Allen's _Innocence_, as the smiling boy leapt at him.

"Tell me you hated it, okay? I want to hear it out of your lying mouth, just how dirty it made you feel, how much you just can't stand yourself for betraying his memory."

"Shut your fucking mouth! I'll deal with you later, so stay fucking still unless you want me to slit your throat." Anger coated his words, hatred in his voice despite that the other had struck a nerve.

The _Noah_ answered him with a bubbling cackle, smug grin on those cherubic lips. "I should be the angry one, you just weren't as good as I hoped."

"Don't fucking start-"

"Oh, you just think so much of yourself, don't you?" Allen's fist came slamming into his chin, whipping his neck back with a sick crack. "It's those eyes of yours I hate, Yu. Always thinking you're winning when you couldn't be more wrong."

Kanda's teeth felt weirdly misaligned as he shook his head to clear it, stumbling and dizzy. The _Noah_'s-no, Allen's body collided with his, slamming him up against a wall suddenly at his back; Kanda hadn't even noticed he was boxed in. Allen's body melted against his as the _Noah _snatched Kanda's wrist, fingers digging into the pressure points before smashing it against concrete. Kanda gasped, hand spamming as his sword fell from numb fingers.

Allen's knee jabbed his stomach as he struggled to get free, the _Noah _smiling at him. "Oh, looks like you are having fun with me."

Kanda bucked angrily before stilling, knowing a struggle would only excite the _Noah _even more. He had trapped him with little leverage and Kanda felt his own body responding eagerly to the contact; it only made that damn, churning guilt eat away at his chest even faster.

A long moment passed before the petite boy pulled away to glare at him with golden eyes.

"Is that all the fight you have, Yu? How disappointing."

"Let go of me you fucking-"

"No," Allen's lips said, the callused pad of his thumb massaging Kanda's aching inner wrist. "I like you this way. Helpless." His hips rocked forward, "Seems like I'm not the only one."

That set off another bought of wild thrashing, stupid as it was, their bodies connecting in the worst ways. With his head the only thing Kanda could easily move, he darted forward, catching the child's lower lip in his teeth. The _Noah_ seemed startled by that, surprisingly, and Kanda pressed the advantage, taking his mouth hard and biting.

The _Noah _groaned, his own teeth scraping against Kanda's tongue to send a jolt straight to his trapped erection. The grip on his body loosened and Kanda shifted, kicking the other sharply in the side of the knee to send him staggering and cursing.

He dove for his sword only to meet Allen's fist, which popped him on the left side of his face with a gristly crunch. The pain was sharp and immediate, driving the air from him as effectively as a blade to the gut.

"Don't fucking touch me," he snapped. Something was probably broken. He let his shoulders slump against the wall behind him while he glared venomously at the snow-haired boy. "Either you move or I'll force you to move."

"Oh, you're such a liar, Yu," he giggled, keeping distance between them as he favored his injured leg. Kanda hadn't hit him hard enough to break it, but suddenly wished he had. But, deep inside he knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to do it. No like before, not anymore, not even if he really wanted to.

"You're going easy on me, only because you don't want to hurt his body, aren't you?" Laughter, childish and just like _his_. "How cute, but you seem to keep forgetting that I'm still your enemy, this body is mine now."

Kanda viciously grinded his teeth together, anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach and immediately regretting it as blood flooded his mouth. He spit it out, and as though the other could smell it, he swooped in, catching Kanda's jaw and lapping crudely at his mouth.

"I don't want to have to kill you now, dear Yu, so listen to mommy and he'll give you some milk."

He shoved him away, hand slipping in the blood covering the _Noah_'s chest. The wound he'd left was shallow but effective, and the Fourteenth jerked away from his touch. He caught the collar of his coat, holding him at arm's length; his lips glistened red and Kanda could tell his own face had to look a mess.

"You're not convincing me one bit, you little fuck," he bit out, taking a step towards the other male and the _Noah_ twisted from his grip, matching him as they circled each other like two vicious predators. "If you really want to kill me then why haven't you? You've had three weeks to get rid of me, get me out of your way before I ruin whatever it is you're doing but it seems you just can't bring yourself to off your little plaything, am I right?"

It was the only thing he was to him, his source of amusement. A toy he could play with whenever he wanted, pull its strings and cut them as if they were nothing. There was no bickering fights, no more arguments, no more spats, because those belonged to that stupid little imbecile after all. Those little things that he would never have again.

"Oh, I've been coping just fine, Yu; you're the one I'm worried about. You're definitely not looking too good and here I'm barely getting started."

"I guess acting like an animal must make things easier," he spat, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand. Golden eyes followed his movements and Kanda could see the tension in his slender frame as he restrained himself-from what, Kanda was sure he could guess.

"At least I'm not ashamed of what I want," the Musician shrugged, smiling. The bloodied side of his face shone a brilliant crimson and Kanda fought a sudden impulse to run his tongue along those bruised lips.

"Who says _I_ am?" Kanda angrily gritted out, pain lashing at his chest. It was _disgusting_, how easily he could admit what he shamelessly wanted from that small body standing in front of him.

Because it was _his_. It still looked just like him, that same pretty and childish face that made him feel all those fucking feelings. The reason why he hadn't killed the fucking parasite yet, why he couldn't bring himself to do it, no matter how much a part of him wanted to. Whenever he thought he would finally be able to wrap his hand around that slender throat, rip the life out of those mocking golden eyes, he was reminded of that sweet laughter, those silver-plated eyes filled with innocence and happiness. It was a weakness that he loathed with everything he had. Something that only fueled his hatred and self-disgust until it made him physically ill; the way he was so easily manipulated by his desire to keep seeing that pretty childish face despite that they weren't the same person.

Then the thing had him slammed up against the wall, face close enough that their lips almost touched. The _Noah_'s breath was heated against Kanda's skin, already slick and damp with his own blood; it made a sudden feeling jerk low in his chest and the smaller boy snatched one flailing arm before it could strike him.

"You might not be ashamed but you sure are scared, I can smell it coming off you." A small, slender hand gripped his jaw and he hissed, "You think you know what I want? I want to make you _scream_."

Kanda's breath hitched painfully and he honestly couldn't tell if it was in pain or something else that made him hate himself even more.

"I want to feel you _break_. Your body under mine, shaking like you're dying-I want to open you up until there's nothing left to take. It would be like killing you over and over again. And you wouldn't just let me, would you, I'd have to earn it every time with _his _body."

"_Yes_." Their lips brushed together in a teasing contact as Kanda said it. He turned his face so their foreheads touched and the other flinched, breath shivering between them.

"And are you sure you want that, boy?"

Kanda wasn't sure, with it stated in such naked terms. But the words tightened things in his body, a heightening of his senses-because even if they weren't the same, it all came back to the same fucking thing: because they had the same face, the same voice, the same scent, the same damn _touch_. "Heh, and if I do?"

And he hated himself for it. Self-disgust only growing more and more.

"You can't-" The _Noah_ thrust him away violently and Kanda felt his temper flare at having everything snatched out of reach at the last moment.

"Why not? Why _can't_ I?"

The _Musician _didn't seem to have an answer for that, his teeth gritted and hands tightly clenched into fists a moment before he turned around, golden eyes bleeding to silver and stigmata disappearing as footsteps Kanda hadn't noticed began to get closer to them. He didn't have to guess twice to know who it was; blonde hair giving it away as sharp eyes quickly inspected the snow-haired boy as a sweet smile was drawn on those pink lips, worry on those pretty childish features the minute the inspector reached his side.

"Walker, where-"

"Ah, Link-_san_! You're injured, let me help."

He turned away from them, waiting for the fake pleasantries to be over, and, not for the first time in the past three weeks, Kanda felt furious and then empty; everything used up and excitement fading to harsh disgust. He cursed, the taste of blood still heavy in his mouth and the ache of his broken bones giving way to a dull throb as they healed. He'd have to see the Head Nurse about that, he knew, mechanically gathering his sword as he walked past the inspector.

The silver eyes staring at his back made everything worse, and he knew he didn't have to turn around to see that quickly familiar mocking grin on those pink, bruised lips.

"Link-_san_, are you alright?" the soft, kind voice of Allen Walker broke the silence. Concerned, worried, polite, everything the boy was yet everything he now wasn't.

Gritting his teeth even more viciously, he wondered, not for the million time that day, why he hadn't just killed the _Noah _the first time he had seen him, three weeks ago in his room. It would have been so easy, a simple movement of his hand, and he could have gotten rid of everything-that thing, his enemy, the source of his shame and disgust.

But he knew the answer why, had always know it. It was so stupid, so damn fucking stupid and he hated himself even more for it, loathed everything he had become.

Allen. That stupid brat, the one who had made him believe, even if only a little, that he was maybe something more than a simple weapon; a tool for a God he didn't believe in, fighting for reasons he had never cared about. He had made him hope, believe, with that stupid smile of his, that there was something else besides a war that would never end, that there was another choice but death waiting for him at the end of his path.

He could never bring himself to kill the _Noah_, because he wanted to believe somewhere inside him, that brat was still there. But it was such a stupidity, something not even worth considering because it was impossible. If, for some reason, Allen Walker was somewhere in there, he would have done something by now. He was such a stubborn idiot after all, he wasn't the kind of person to bend over and do what he was told, just like that. He would have fought against that parasite until his last breath, like he had promised he would do, to protect his 'family' and his 'home', to make sure the _Noah _didn't kill or hurt anyone.

If he had fought, if he had tried to push the Fourteenth back and refused to let go, it was obvious he had lost. It was the _Noah_, the so called '_Musician' _who was here now, not Allen Walker. Not that dumb _Moyashi_, the one who he had stupidly and idiotically gotten attached to, in more ways than one, no matter how much he hadn't wanted to.

He shut his eyes tightly and shook his head, weariness seeping into his bones and making it difficult to lift his eyelids. He willed it out of his mind-he didn't want to think about it, didn't want to dwell on it, as weak and cowardly as it was, he didn't want to have to look at those mocking golden eyes and see everything that wasn't there anymore.

It seemed like ages had passed since he'd first seen him, since he'd last heard his voice and his annoying insults. He could no longer remember the last thing he had said to the boy, what he had done, what the brat had been doing the day before all of this had started. Had they fought? Had the bickered and insulted each other like they tended to do every time they crossed paths? Or had it been one of those rare days, where they would train in the same room, breathe the same air and share the same space without talking; a peaceful day where he had been patient enough to teach the boy how to meditate and how to properly hold a sword. The ones that he secretly enjoyed because he had been able to watch him without raising suspicion, see how much he had grown and wonder about stupid things like how everything could have been different if they had more time to live.

He knew he couldn't ignore the sick feeling in his gut because getting close to Allen shouldn't have happened at all, it would have made this situation more bearable. But it remained hours later, as he lay awake through the last late hours of the night, watching his ceiling and unable to rest.

He wasn't the least bit surprised when he didn't manage to fall asleep, the memory of that stupid little idiot flickering behind his eyelids.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Then the pattern returned.

Again, another mission. Again, partnered with the one person he didn't know how to handle anymore. It was as if he was split in two, and one part of him wanted to get rid of those mocking golden eyes while the other part wanted to protect the monster because he stupidly wanted to keep a part of that little imbecile he would never see again. He would spend nights laying awake, anger and an almost sense of desperation killing him as he tried to convince himself that killing the fucking _Noah _was the best course of action. That that was the only solution, the only thing that would set things right and make his world stop turning and spinning until he no longer knew where he stood.

But he couldn't. No matter how much he saw those golden eyes staring at him in the corridors, openly mocking him, proving how far his weakness had gone, he couldn't bring himself to do more than break a couple of bones. And nobody noticed a damn thing.

Everyone saw their fights as that, fights. Their usual behavior, not the least bit concerned, not even noticing that their 'spars' were so much different, so much more bloody and violent even if neither of them suffered more than a couple of minor injuries; simple flesh wounds. Yet, those simple flesh wounds made the unwanted desire flare even more, mostly because unlike Allen, the damn _Noah _provoked him, seducing him with those touches that felt just like his if he closed his eyes.

Smiling, he ignored the stupid rabbit's calls and opened the doors, fresh air washing over his skin as soon as he stepped outside the Order's new Headquarters. He didn't really know if they were allowed outside without permission, not that he cared, he had never needed something the Order couldn't provide for him, but he needed fresh air. He felt like he was suffocating, air supply drying out the longer he continue to be locked up with the little fucking parasite, even and when seeing that infantile face helped lessen the pain in his chest.

Komui was going to be pissed, that or worried. It wasn't as if he cared, he wasn't a prisoner, the Order didn't own him. They were both using each other to achiever their own goals, he knew that, didn't mind it as much as he should. He could come and go as he well damned pleased, he wasn't like Allen, who had had a leash around his throat and a guard dog to watch his every move. No, he wasn't like that at all.

Little imbecile, he should have just run away.

His footsteps slowed down, halted when he heard a sound behind him. Eyes narrowing, he automatically gripped the hilt of his sword, his anger increasing when he felt that now very familiar presence. It was almost the same as the _Moyashi_'s, although heavier and coated with the scent of blood and death. Either way it had the same sweet fragrance of spring, only different because the little shit was like an alluring predator, making its pray come to him willingly and without any struggle. Making them believe they wanted to be eaten.

"Took you long enough, Yu." The purring voice drifted down to him from high above and Kanda tilted his head up, turning around to look for the _Noah_ he knew had spoken.

A flash of white appeared above him, a splash of black leapt behind him and then a sharp claw was at his throat. Kanda coughed once and gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to pull away from the cold metal that the _Noah _pressed lovingly against his throat. Absentmindedly, he noticed that the small boy was only wearing a dark long coat, nothing underneath it.

The Fourteenth leaned over his shoulder, thick and imposing aura caressing him. "Ready?"

He grunted and twisted away, wrenching out from under the weapon and turned to face the damn parasite. "I'm not in the mood for your shit tonight."

"Aww, poor little Yu. Too tired to fight or fuck? That's alright with me, I wasn't going to let you take control anyways…"

Kanda tensed as he watched a familiar tongue snake out and lick along the _Noah_'s lips. He remembered the things that tongue had done during their last encounter and he could almost feel it caressing along his inner thigh right then; roving higher and higher…He clenched his jaw, stood his ground, right hand tightly gripping the hilt of his sword. In the back of his consciousness, he knew he should just kill the damn monster, get rid of him and end the vicious cycle that had started so many weeks ago. Half of him agreed, hating the weakness that was being unable to run the _Noah _with his sword like he would have done any other of his kind.

But again, the same reason stopped him. That smile, those silver eyes and the memory of his laughter ringing like bells along with that sweet smell of spring.

"Forget it, you little fuck," Kanda spat, anger bubbling with that now ever present self-hate. "I'll kick your ass if you want, but I'll do it tomorrow. I'm not in the mood now."

"Yes, yes, you said that already." The _Noah_ huffed as he rested his chin in the claws of his left hand, tilting the weapon so it glinted in the dim streetlights. A predatory air seemed to crackle around him and he lolled his head back, staring down his nose at him. "But I think it's about time you paid me back all those times I've let you play with Allen-_rin_'s body."

One moment the _Noah _was lazily regarding him from across the alley, the next moment he was gone and Kanda leapt back to avoid the cutting blow that lashed out at him. His feet stumbled, throwing him against several garbage pails as he avoided the subsequent blows. His back smacked against the ground, puddle soaking his exorcist uniform while he unsheathed his sword. He sprang to his feet, dodging that _Innocence _he was so familiar with a little more skillfully as he decided what part he could attack without causing too much damage to the little idiot's body. Mugen had never felt more heavy in his hand, so weak, and he could only continue to leap away from the _Noah_'s attacks. It was a blessed pause in the assault that gave him the much-needed time to search for an opening in the grinning boy's defense, always so impenetrable it was almost impossible to find a weak spot. He could feel those golden eyes raking along his body, devouring him. Kanda gritted his teeth and shot him a disgusted look, something the other completely ignored and smirked at him.

A flash, a splitting moment of pain and he was standing before the _Noah _again, his now blood matted hair fluttering in the wind and his sword ready to catch the sharp attack that the _Noah_ drove towards him. He blocked the downward swing and countered with a strike of his own. Kanda leapt up to the air, perching on the ledge of a building before he spun around to block another attack, strength for strength waged against one another. He grunted with effort and pressed both of his hands against Mugen's flat, shoving the _Noah _off and pressing his advantage. The Fourteenth seemed determined to act out some twisted dance of aggression, laughing as more blood matted his snowy locks. Blood or flesh, they usually tasted both by the end. A routine that he was, as much as he hated it, slowly becoming familiar with.

One, two, three strikes and Kanda drew blood. He felt the crimson spray coat his sword, felt the hollow laughter of the boy in front of him eating it up, bathing in that glorious liquid and Kanda grimaced at how the _Noah _seemed to draw power from it. He looked to his opponent; the damn parasite stood before him, defiant as he wiped the blood from his brow, licking at the trail that crossed his mouth as it leaked down to his throat. He was oblivious to the churning sensation forcing its way through him. Oblivious to the atrocious desire to kill him and protect him at the same time. One emotion for each of them, hatred for him and those stupid feelings for that little idiot he would never see again.

"Game over, dear Yu."

Kanda tensed, something striking him yet not leaving any visible wound, no blood to be seen but the pain was there. Shit, no. He couldn't let the damn parasite beat him.

"Damn it…" he raised his blade in the last second to block an attack as he screwed his eyes shut and concentrated on the pressing dark shadow in the back of his mind. It was on the move, pushing outward, pulling him back from his place of control. Taking over. They were beyond words. The _Musician_'s raking voice echoing inside him, a song and lulling piano notes, his own voice demanding he stop.

"Engh-!" Kanda clutched at his head as a surge of power pressed outwards against his mind. Against his very soul and then he was swallowed up. The blackness was seeping into his vision-drops of black ink poisoning the whites of his eyes-and the _Noah _cackled his victory as he slammed his being against the back wall of his mind as he could only see darkness.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Soft, gentle notes rang in his head, dulling him and the haze in his head began to slowly disappear as the music grew noticeably louder. Lulling note after lulling note, a sort of melancholic feeling to the sound as the piano continue to play.

A sharp breath escaped his lips, and his eyes snapped open as everything came back to him-the fight, that dark, aching pain in the back of his head-abruptly sitting up and immediately being blinded by burning white that made him wince.

"Oh, you're finally awake."

White, pure untainted white. A white piano, a large window that looked more like a mirror next to it, surrounded by four walls of pure white and no other speck of color but the couch he was sitting on and the tiny droplets of blood soiling the colorless floors.

Pale slender fingers accompanied by black marionette ones skillfully pressed the white keys of the piano, elegantly shifting from one to another with ease as the _Noah _turned to look at him with silver-plated eyes. Kanda gritted his teeth, right hand gripping the hilt of his sword as he carefully stood up, gauging the other's reaction, waiting for an attack he was sure would come at any moment.

Those mismatched hands stopped their playing, although the soft lulling notes didn't stop, continued to play despite that the _Noah _was no longer touching the white keys as he also stood up. He didn't turn to him, facing the mirror and slowly walking up to it as he continued to ignore the exorcist's presence. Echoing footsteps bounced off the walls, the only sound in the colorless room besides the gentle notes filling the air, and Kanda tensed without knowing why.

Placing his left hand on the surface of the mirror, the _Noah _leaned down, and tenderly pressed his lips to the one's of his reflection. His warm breath fogged the crystal, rosy lips slightly moist as he pulled away, right hand softly caressing one of the cheeks of his identical twin. Eyes half-lidded, he pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm glad, for a minute I thought I'd broken you."

Pale skin bled to ashen gray, silver disappearing to be replaced with ocher gold framed by dark long lashes. And the sweet tranquil look disappeared as the boy quickly lashed at him, so quick he barely managed to see him, barely a flicker and he was right next to him already drawing blood before he even managed to raise his sword. Gritting his teeth when those sharp claws cut at his right thigh, he pushed the other backwards with a rough shove of his sword.

The fight paused for a brief moment. The Musician stood his ground, eyeing him as he brushed those blood-stained claws over his pink lips, painting them crimson. The contrast against the dark skin was stark, some red droplets trickling down the slender collarbone as the small boy dropped his offensive stance to appraise him with half-lidded eyes.

Smiling, the _Noah_ seemed oblivious to Kanda's hard stare, lacing his fingers together and stretching them high above his head, his neck cracking to the side as he loosened up. His adrenaline was already on high, but he felt a surge of dread when those golden eyes finally flicked back up to lock with his own again.

"So, what the fuck is it now?" he ground out, his brow furrowed in clear dislike of the situation.

Grinning widely, the _Noah_'s eyes burned an excited gold as he continued to stare at him. He sighed, as if contemplating the question before shrugging and bolting forward. Fast.

He was much faster and Kanda was only able to half-block the attack. He was pushed backwards, smashing into the white wall behind him, the brick and mortar flying everywhere, leaving him to climb out amid a cloud of stale dust. He was surprised, when he turned to look at the mess, how it was immediately back to it's original pristine and perfect structure.

"Where the hell am I?" he coughed, wiping blood from a new cut on his face and the _Noah_ licked his lips. He had vague memories of a place like this, simple flashes. But he wanted to be completely sure.

"I figured I should show you, Yu. Just so you know, this is my room. You've showed me yours before, and so it only seems proper etiquette to show you mine." He stepped forward, appearing by his side in a flash, keeping his foot moving at that speed to kick him across the stomach.

Coughing up more blood, he drew his sword back, ready to slice through the fucking monster when his dark eyes first caught sight of a mocking smile and a clawed left hand. He drew closer to the other, seeing the killing intent ablaze in those ice golden eyes, the activated _Innocence_, the smell of burning blood meeting his nostrils. Kanda held the attack, gritting his teeth as the _Noah _grinned at him, left hand easily holding back his Mugen.

It pissed him off. It pissed him off so fucking much because that little idiot had been strong too, enough to grudgingly earn his respect. But this _thing_, this piece of shit was different. To be beaten by this thing when he hadn't even been able stand to lose an inch with that stupid small imbecile, he couldn't accept that, would rather die than let it happen.

The _Noah_ drew those white ribbons around him, deflecting what he could of the attack while leaving the claws of his left hand to take the brunt of the damage. He hadn't expected it. Kanda had charged his attack and knocked him back, making him fall, making him realizing that their roles had reversed and it was Kanda that now chased him down to the pristine mirror standing in front of them. He wasn't done yet; he was familiar with Allen's style, but he had no idea what _he_ could do. The smirking _Noah _drew his hand, lightning-fast, unleashing one of the little idiot's attacks towards him. The white ribbons of the activated _Innocence _crackled, zigzagging through the air in a direct and controlled sweep that definitely caught him off guard. It hit him dead on and the _Noah_ sealed the deal by springing up towards him, grabbing his black jacket and hurling him against the wall next to the reflective surface. The crack of his skull on the concrete was clear and definite in his own ears. Coughing, he managed to catch a glimpse of the grin that spread across the other's face, angelic features so clear in the lighting of the room as he followed to finish what Kanda had begun.

"Heh," the snow-haired boy smiled. His feet scuffed across the floor as he walked up to the Eastern exorcist, the dark-eyed man trying to pull himself to his feet amid a chorus of coughing and vehement curses.

"Don't tell me you're _that_ hurt," smiling, the _Noah_ asked, toeing him in the ribs. The young boy's act of pain continued before it rolled into a fluid attack that launched him to his feet, a closed-fist lashing out to catch the grinning child across the jaw. The boy reeled back as Kanda pressed his attack, swinging out with his other fist and made a dive for his sword.

Seeming to catch himself after the second strike, the _Noah_ kicked out with his heel, driving into his solar plexus and winding him. "You promised me a fight. I think the 'fight' is taken care of, no sense beating a dead horse, after all…" he trailed off at the idiom, the words drawing an even brighter grin to his face. "Maybe that's not the best choice of words, you're not dead yet. Anyway, dear Yu, I've been letting you have fun with me for the past weeks, I think it's my turn." He slid his toe under the flat of his blade and lifted it into the air.

Kanda cursed through the blood in his mouth, though the _Noah_ didn't bother to wait for him to spit it out and threw him across the couch before landing on top of him. He tried to kick him away, hating him, hating himself, hating the way he couldn't bring himself to hurt the fucking thing like he really wanted to.

It was the same, they looked the same. And he hated that too.

Soft, delicate flower petals rained down on him, and he looked up at the grinning boy to see him holding a bouquet of flowers at him. White roses that he hadn't been holding before, appearing, like many things Kanda had noticed in the past weeks, as if the Musician himself had created them out of thin air. His sword, he cursed, was too being held in the child's other hand.

"Hmmm, nice and romantic, don't you think, Yu?" the _Noah_ asked, aiming the tip of his blade for Kanda's shoulder. Smiling innocently, the boy thrust downward with all his strength, slicing through his body and literally pinning him to the couch amid a spray of blood.

He winced, copper liquid filling his mouth as he bit his tongue, refusing to let out any sound no matter what. He wouldn't give the other that satisfaction, let him see him weak and beaten. Stubbornly, he tried to move, his blade working against him as it ground against bone.

Shit.

"Don't worry, Yu, I'll take care of you." The _Noah _knelt, crawling with predatory grace along his body until they were nose to nose. Dark blue glared hard into molten gold, though Kanda lost some of his hatred as a soft, ashen hand trailed down his body, jagged nails raking across his exposed chest and playing around his abdomen. His faltering expression made the Musician grin and he dug his fingers into the waistband of his trousers. He lashed out with a fierce kick, solidly connecting with the _Noah_'s side, though it barely moved the grinning creature. Instead, the Fourteenth slid off to the side, lying parallel to him, out of range of any further attacks and keeping his eyes on him, unblinking in their dominance of the indomitable samurai.

Slim fingers lazily half-unbuttoned his trousers, caressing his navel along the way. The _Noah_ broke eye contact and raked his golden gaze down his body. He became rigid while his torso was tightening, his muscles coiling up to do…something. The higher the boy looked along his body, the more the excited and hungry look seemed to grow on his face.

Kanda clenched his teeth, and rather than look at those golden eyes, looked at his right arm, a shade of pale white as his lifeblood leaked from where he was impaled on the couch. The coiled up rage that he had been nurturing seemed to be released at the moment that the grinning _Noah_ raked his gaze down, reaching out to grab his flaccid manhood and coax some life into it. His resistance exploded in a flurry of limbs, curses and promises of pain as he fought the smiling boy above him.

His body arched up suddenly, a primal growl burning from somewhere deep in his chest and his face contorted in pain as he fought against his _Innocence_. His legs braced against the couch, bloodied rose petals flying as he thrashed about. His arm lashed out, fist striking the _Noah_ across his face, drawing blood in a magnificent spray.

The ashen hand held tightly onto his awakening arousal, slim fingers forming a tunnel that held him in a soft grip. He closed his other hand around Kanda's free wrist, wrenching the flailing limb to the side and sinking his teeth around a pert nipple. His body stilled beneath the _Noah_, arching towards him as the child gnawed on the nub, warm tongue snaking out to lap at the blood he'd drawn.

"Are you going to be a good boy, Yu?" he asked, drawing back and licking his lips. The slender hand on his erection continued its task, and Kanda gritted his teeth, disgust filling him.

The smiling boy only chuckled at him, shaking his head as some of those white curls stuck to his bloodied cheeks.

"Well, I wouldn't recommend you move around too much more." He released his arousal and reached up to touch the hilt of his sword. He pulled it towards him, earning a grunt of pain from his lips as it moved against his wound.

"This thing is sharp, you're probably hurting yourself more by trashing about." The Fourteenth released his sword and reached for his other arm. It lay dead and useless at his side, the fingers twitching ever so slightly with the effort of moving. Whistling, the _Noah _picked it up, threading his fingers between Kanda's in a faux display of tenderness.

"Please, Yu, aren't I allowed to play with you for once?" He leaned over him, the only struggle in Kanda's free hand that continued to fight against his iron grip. His bloodied mouth grinned as he pressed it against Kanda's snarling lips in a fierce kiss.

There was nothing chaste about the act; Kanda's mouth opened to accept the warm tongue inside, biting down the moment it entered. The _Noah_ chuckled at him, his scratchy, hollow laughter rolling through his throat as he kissed him, seeming to relish the pain and blood and aggression that Kanda poured out into his oral attack. He kissed the smaller boy and filled and overcame until his blood was coating both their tongues and then the other pulled away, satisfied.

He glared daggers as the _Noah_ reached back to pump his erection, licking his lip of the blood he'd drawn. Resisting something that felt so deliciously good was difficult for him, something he had always wanted to feel. His body relaxed against the couch and his free hand rested limply at his side. It remained, balled in a fist, lying in a pool of blood and rose petals until the smaller boy's grip loosened as he bent over to bite a nipple again. His warm tongue lapped at the tattoo that marred his chest, teasing and drawing a sharp gasp from him. It was a surreal moment of faux-surrender, lasting a brief second before Kanda ripped his hand free and shot down to grab the _Noah_ by his bloodied white curls.

The golden-eyed male stopped suckling on the samurai's chest, yellow eyes turning, wide and curious to the furious man beneath him. "Not enjoying yourself?" he asked, completely unafraid, even as he was pulled up by his hair.

He didn't say anything, contemplating what sort of damage he could do with one hand. The other took advantage of the pause and abandoned the arousal that was standing tall and proud from a bed of black curls. The look in those golden eyes, which held malicious contemplation suddenly flashed to gloating amusement. They flitted down, down along his own torso as the _Noah_'s ashen hand delved between his spread thighs.

"Want to play a different game, Yu?"

He tried to look away, viciously biting the inside of his cheek to remind himself that this wasn't _him_, would never be. His eyes stared at the red pooling around him, at the way he was so easily being held down before darting back up to look back into the _Noah_'s golden eyes when he heard a hitched breath. His brows remained furrowed, angrily struggling with his free hand, though he couldn't ignore the way the _Noah_ spread his long pale legs for him, teasingly caressing his thighs.

Disgusting. He couldn't find a more appropriate word for himself right now. _Disgusting_, for having so easily allowed himself to be beat by this thing, for…for wanting to delusion himself into believing that just because they had the same face, they could be same person.

Idiot. He was definitely an idiot for having stupidly believed they could be the same, that things could be the same if he pretended hard enough.

Grin across his face as he licked his lips, the Fourteenth gave Kanda's cheek one last lick before he shifted down on the couch, climbing in between the dark-haired man's legs. He spread his thighs wider for him, inviting him in close before he moved again and placed his foot on Kanda's chest, pressing down with renewed vigor. His dark eyes burned with venomous rage, and it took several downward blows to his solar plexus before he was winded enough to allow the _Noah _to continue. The Fourteenth's hand trailed from where he'd struck Kanda's ribs, finger lightly grazing around the wound in his belly, scratching with a ragged fingernail that made him want to wipe that smug grin from those cherubic lips. He bit the inside of his cheek when the Musician brought his hand down to his thigh again. It rose easily when the small boy lifted it, despite how he tried to kick the little shit's face, his hips being forced upward and giving the _Noah _open access to his nether regions as he lay dazed in a puddle of blood.

His hand continued moving, stroking along his thigh and pinching the tight flesh there before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Those ashen fingers delved into the flesh, nails digging in to draw blood before he pulled his hand back to smack Kanda across the face when he tried to buck him off. Kanda pursed his lips in a frown, no words of encouragement or deterring tirade falling from them. His eyes remained to what the _Noah_ was doing, his free hand fisted at his side, though his expression threatened pain if he kept smacking his ass. The _Noah _only snickered and moved his hand along to trace the cleft just beneath his testicles.

"Let me borrow some of this," the child murmured, leaning over him, digging the fingers of his left hand into the freely bleeding wound on Kanda's right shoulder. Oval nails scraped alongside the incision, and he viciously grinded his teeth together when they were finally pulled out, coated in crimson liquid.

Blowing him a kiss, the boy wasted no time, deciding that the teasing was over and wedged a finger between his own clenching cheeks. Kanda tried to push him off with his legs, but the _Noah_ continued to push a dry, probing digit inside himself until he'd found that perfect opening that would be the centre of his focus for the next few minutes. He spread his thighs further apart, lifting them up, fully exposing his asshole with the tip of his finger pushed in to the first knuckle. "Just lie back and think of your precious little Allen-_rin_," he purred, ramming his finger in the rest of the way.

"What the hell are you doing!" Kanda finally snarled, staring despite not wanting to, causing the _Noah _to laugh aloud.

"Yum, he's pretty tight here, Yu." He swirled the finger around, seeming delighted in how that dry entrance pulled along his slender digit. Kanda tried to look away, but he could barely contain the jolt of arousal that shot through him at the scene. "Soon you'll be in place of this finger, being milked for all you're worth, love."

Their eyes locked and the _Noah _shifted his hips down, driving his own finger deeper inside of himself. The dry entrance pulled on that digit and Kanda found his jaw going slightly slack as he watched the lust burning in those icy golden eyes. "Heh, told you you'd like the show."

Cheeks feeling slightly warm, he tried to ignore his mocking voice, despite how alike it sounded to the real owner of that body. Another grunt of pain escaped his lips when he tried to move, his impaled body healing only to be injured again when an ashen hand drove his sword deeper into his body.

Lips formed a playful smile and the _Noah _let out a breathy moan, "Yummy, Yu, I wish you could see how tight little Allen-_rin _feels. Your blood helps a bit, so thank you for that."

"Fuck you, you little shit," he ground out through gritted teeth, trying to look away from the lewd display the other was presenting him with.

The _Noah_ licked his lips. "Big words, I hope you won't disappoint me."

Kanda's eyes went wide as a new finger met its brother inside the _Noah_, some of the glint of excitement fading in those golden eyes as the small boy seemed to register some slight discomfort. But the smirk on those pink lips told him he cared little for the pain he was causing Allen's virgin body, the fingers twisting inside of that lithe body and a delightful shudder spread through the petite frame before the Fourteenth ground down onto them as well. "Don't worry, Yu, I'll make sure to get him wet and loose enough for you to fit."

His tongue snaked outside his mouth, wetting his lips as he spread his legs further apart for him, giving the Japanese a perfect view of what he was doing.

Ignoring Kanda's look of utmost disgust, the _Noah _groaned, moaning his name between hitched gaps as he pulled out his fingers. He placed his feet against Kanda's chest, legs spread, exposing that rosebud to him as he dipped his left hand in the pool of blood beneath the older man. He pursed his lips, bringing the gleaming blood to dance on the end of his ashen fingertips before releasing it to fall directly onto that awaiting swirl of muscle. The entrance sprang to life at the warm droplet and the _Noah_ was quick to plant three fingers to push in after it.

"Since you seem to be enjoying this, I'll move along, then." Panting, the _Noah _leaned down, coating his fingers with more of Kanda's blood again before he roughly moved them in and out of his small body.

Kanda's constants curses rang throughout the small room along with that annoying song, piano note after piano note. His body resisted, arching from the couch in violent convulsions as his patience ran out and he fought to free himself of the unwanted display. With a final growl, he wrenched up against the sword that had him pinned to the couch, tearing the blade through the frame and ripping it free from his body.

His muscles contracted, snapping him forward, bringing him face to face with the smirking _Noah _sitting on his body. He latched onto a rosy lip, biting down as the three fingers continued to move inside the boy's body. The moment felt raw and heated, both eyes open and staring into each other through the violent kiss and probing digits. However, instead of pushing away, Kanda's good hand clamped down onto the _Noah_'s shoulder, pulling him closer, forcing the child's fingers to dig in and draw his own blood as his teeth did the same with the still smirking cherubic lips. Clenching around the invading digits that scissored inside him, spreading himself wide even though his ass attempted to clamp shut on them, the _Noah _leaned closer and kissed his lips. With a harsh thrust, Kanda pushed the _Noah _away, knocking him back onto the couch and quickly tried to crawl on top of him. Blood leaked down his injured arm, good one propping him up as he hovered over the snow-haired boy, dripping red along his slender frame. The position was precarious and easily thrown off as the Musician pushed back again, sitting up with the Japanese straddling his lap.

"Nuh-huh. Allen-_rin _may have been nice enough to let others lead, but I'm going to be the one taking care of you," the Fourteenth purred in that sweet, breathy voice, digging the fingers of his right hand into the wound in Kanda's shoulder and driving him back.

"Looks like I cut a few too many tendons and muscles. You can't fuck me without use of yours arms, Yu. Worry not, I'll help you destroy Allen-_rin_'s innocence."

Kanda's eyes blazed at the words, the fingers in his wound burning in pain, but pain wasn't enough to dampen his anger. He snapped forward again, head-butting the _Noah _and knocking him back. "I don't need both my arms to kill you, freak."

The fingers wrenched free from Allen's body as the pouting _Noah_ fell back, bouncing against his legs. Kanda looked down his nose at the peeved creature, baring his teeth when an ashen hand caressed his abdomen, seeking out his insatiable hardness that twitched excitedly at the violence.

"Mou, I didn't want to have to do this, but you're being too stubborn and I can't have you ruining my fun."

Claw-like fingers clamped down on his injured shoulder, digging into the lesion until he had to clench his teeth; more blood filling his mouth. He glared up at him, hating those mocking golden eyes as Allen's _Innocence _held him down, those delicate yet strong ribbons wrapping around his arms, almost chocking him as they circled his throat.

"I think I'm beginning to like this arm," he cheerily said, eyeing him as he struggled to break free from the white ribbons holding him in place. The binds were unyielding around his arms; pressing and tightening around his injured shoulder, digging into the wound and making the pain come alive, raw and vibrant despite that his body was already healing.

That soft song continued; gently, lulling piano note after piano note, and he couldn't help but stay still when the Fourteenth looked at the mirror at the white piano's side, a sneer on his lips as his golden eyes glared at his reflection. What-

"Shut up!" he snapped, glaring a the mirror and, in a fit of fury he had never seen the _Noah _in, the boy's right hand gripped the bloodied scabbard of his Mugen and roughly threw it at the mirror, the broken pieces showering the white floor in thousands of shattered little pieces.

Blinking as the sound snapped him out his daze, he gritted his teeth when he was pulled into a bruising kiss, oval shaped nails digging into his face. The notes stopped, room now quiet besides Kanda's curses and the once again cheery _Noah_'s giggles.

"Yu, Yu, you look good enough to eat," he chuckled, proving his point by sliding his bloodied left hand down Kanda's body, seeking out his insatiable hardness that twitched excitedly at the warm touch. "Just like Allen-_rin_, although I can't actually play with his body like I do with yours." Laughing now, the parasite ran his thumb across the slit of his male, making him curse and try to pull away from the tender caresses.

"So you'll do the playing for me, Yu. It benefits us both, after all, you've always wanted to make Allen-_rin _yours, no?"

He watched the Fourteenth through hard eyes, a sneer on his lips as he tried to twist his body away from the smirking freak's reach. His injured limb swung at his side as the _Noah_ began to pump erratically, his balance thrown off as the creature above him began to masturbate him with long, hard strokes of his slender fingers. He swore. He struggled to keep his balance and thrust into those gripping fingers, trying to knock the _Noah_ off balance again. Damn it, he was going to be sick again. He could feel that disgusting guilt mix with a helplessness unfamiliar to him until now.

With a pout, the Fourteenth changed tactics, moving forward to crawl on top of Kanda and fully unbuttoned his trousers. His swollen cock sprang forward the moment those ashen hands fell to the side, throbbing with desire and a few pearls of anticipation leaking down the head. Kanda sucked in a breath through his nose, looking up with distaste to the one lying on top of him, cheerily straddling his legs.

Kanda's vision felt hazy, nearly blinded by the throbbing ache of his body and the loss of so much blood, though not enough that he couldn't witness the vision of the _Noah_ spreading his blood along his hard shaft. It was like a hazy, throbbing dream; leaving him sprawled out on the couch as the _Noah_ moved above him. He could only watch the snow-haired child crawl on top of him. He felt weary of the sudden eagerness the Musician was displaying, but could barely resist as the other positioned himself above his bobbing dick. What the hell was he going to do? Giving him a sweet little smile, the _Noah_ was moving down, thrusting himself down _hard_ as his ass tightened around the Japanese. Tightened in resistance, and yet opening to devour his straining erection. A soft, breathless moan met Kanda's ears and he was dimly aware that it was his voice. His eyes were locked with molten gold, amused and lusty, albeit slightly peeved that he refused to show any sign of participation, though he couldn't say anything against it as he was the one lowering himself onto Kanda's eager prick.

The somewhat loosened pucker gave way after a few seconds, parting with slow acceptance until the mushroomed tip had finally passed the ring of muscle. Kanda attempted to move away, uttering a few expletives through gritted teeth when the _Noah _thrust downwards. His hands shot out to instinctively claw at Kanda's hips to help himself as he pushed down onto his hardness, that welcoming heat a heady intoxication that lit his senses afire, making him pant and blink as Kanda tried to get rid of the hazy cloud of lust.

His good arm was weak against the other's two fully functioning limbs. His injured appendage hung useless at his side, held by the white ribbons as he struggled to pull the fingers away from his hips. Five fingers working against ten, prying lusty digits from his body in a futile attempt to escape, failing as the _Noah _heatedly impaled himself on his member. He soon gave up on prying the fingers from him and took a different, more violent route. Fighting one-handed had never deterred Kanda from a fight, and he threw his entire weight behind his elbow as he drove it deep into the Fourteenth's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him. There was an audible exhalation from the _Noah _and he reeled, loosening the hands from Kanda's hips. The Japanese leaned forward to smack the blinking boy across the face with his elbow for good measure before he sat back, out of breath and clenching his teeth in agonizing pain, not being able to do anything as the still smiling child seated himself fully on his member.

He grunted, the pain a dull throb inside him, definitely there but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what hurt.

Despite that, the pleasure was definite and very centralized around his cock, then further in and everywhere that his dick was touching inside that warm body. It set off his nerves, reaching new levels of pleasure with every inch that he sank into. His mind reeled as his cock throbbed inside the boy and he swore he could feel every vein and beat of the other's inhuman heart. Then the _Noah_ rolled his hips a fraction, and he almost chocked at the feeling of being inside him, the boy swiveling to make Kanda's member caress his insides. The stretch around him was delicious, his chest tightening at the feeling when those slender hips continued to push down. Finally, finally filling him. He was fully inside and Kanda sneered down his nose at the giggling being above him, grinding down as if to say, 'is that all you got? I could take more!' His anger was short-lived as the _Noah_'s hand shot forward towards his face. He drew back a fraction as ashen fingers curled around his hair, their inhuman strength forcing him to stop moving. In one swift movement, they pulled Kanda face-to-face with the _Noah _above him.

"So violent, with that attitude you wouldn't have made Allen-_rin_'s first time gentle," he cackled in a throaty laugh, jamming his hips down to drive Kanda deeper into the body above him. A warm tongue snaked out to lap along Kanda's mouth, trailing over the bruised lips before pulling back to leave a trail of blood from along his cheeks.

Kanda's eyes lit up to a dangerous glint. "If you don't get your hands off of me, I'm going to rip off your fucking arms."

The Fourteenth snorted, "But his body is pretty nice to look at, why ruin it when you can have fun with it? You're such a delightful perversion, Yu!"

He said nothing, refusing to make a sound as those hips continued moving above him, his cock so wonderfully sated in that snug, warm body that he had wanted to posses for so long. Gritting his teeth when the other pushed down hard, he clenched his eyes shut. Yes, he had always wanted to have Allen, but not like this. Never like _this_. Not when he knew the little idiot had never felt the same way he felt for him, when he was sure Allen would have never wanted this repulsive and twisted union of their bodies.

Golden eyes wickedly amused, the _Noah _smiled and licked his lips, tasting their mixed blood in his tongue as he raised his hips a fraction before dropping them down on Kanda's lap again. "Why are you wearing such a tortured expression, Yu? Isn't this what you've always wanted, to be the first one to take Allen-_rin_'s virginity?"

He clenched his teeth, glaring at him with utmost hatred as he tried not to show any signs of pleasure.

"Oh? So you'd rather I'd given it to someone else?" He thrust downwards, Kanda slammed his forehead up, bloodying the _Noah_'s mouth.

Pouting, the Musician released his face, ashen hands flying down to his hips again as they found their rhythm. He braced his knees on the couch, jamming his pelvis down as his creamy thighs carried him up and thrust back down again. Their bodies trembled and shuddered from the exertion-from the pleasure-their pants and moans coming in breathy gasps as the feeling in their lower halves overrode all other priorities. Their bodies glistened with bloody sweat, soaking through the couch, pooling around the rose petals that didn't fit their coupling whatsoever, but looked so beautiful as they floated in a pool of red liquid that leaked down the samurai's chest. The _Noah_'s face was bloodied and flushed, contributing his own share of crimson life to the pools of blood, yet it still looked childishly pretty. Innocent and everything that Allen Walker had been, down to the pink cherubic lips to the long lashes also coated with blood as they fluttered against rosy cheeks while that sweet voice panted his name in broken gasps.

Moaning, golden eyes rimmed dark with lust, the _Noah_ smiled down at him when he tried to free himself from the _Innocence_'s white ribbons, jerking his hips downward in a violent thrust, causing Kanda's member go in even deeper and this time he couldn't stop the grunt of pleasure that escaped his mouth.

He groaned, sweaty bangs sticking to his bloody forehead as that small body gripped him in blinding pleasure. The _Noah_ moved his hands upwards, abandoning Kanda's hips to trail inwards, oval nails scratching against his stomach, drifting farther up until those warm fingers were caressing the dark tattoo on the left side of his torso. He traced the dark tendrils with his fingertips, covering the black with red as he licked his lips while he looked at it with half-lidded golden eyes, curls damp with sweat as they stuck to his forehead.

"What's this?" he asked, fully seating himself. "Hm. It seems you both are more than you appear to be. Maybe that's why he liked you so much-oops." Golden eyes looked down at him, amused as Kanda tensed at his words, anger and hazy lust momentarily forgotten. "My bad, I forgot I wasn't suppose to spill his secrets, specially to you."

He laughed and pushed down once more before wrapping his hand around his own member in a firm grip. Stroking himself along with the thrusts of his hips, slamming down on Kanda's lap as the Japanese tried to ignore and forget the golden-eyed male's words. It wasn't hard to do, not when everything was the warm, hot feeling all around him, the smell of blood and sex in the air. But still, there was a prickling, almost painful sensation in his chest. Tight, like a bowstring that threatened to break at any second.

"Pay attention, Yu."

The air seemed to still between them, with his cock embedded firmly in the _Noah_'s body (Allen's, it was his, _his_), ashen fingers gripping the Musician's arousal and blood coating both their bodies in dark, red splashes. It was a strange sensation that gripped both of them, the act eerily familiar, as both had experienced something similar before. Kanda had already established his relationship with Allen-as violent and unaffectionate as it was-but the _Noah _seemed bent on destroying that too, and he couldn't help but smile almost bitterly as the bloodstained white ribbons tightened around his arms, holding him down and biting into his bruised yet healing skin.

Breath hitching, the _Noah_ raised himself up, and Kanda felt the head nearly popping free before the softly panting boy dropped himself down into Kanda's lap once more. As disgusting as it was, the atrocious shameful feeling in his chest continued grow, and he couldn't stop himself from closing his eyes as he softly grunted every time those slender hips forced his cock deeper inside that warm tightness.

His thoughts ran to the obscure, the obscene and still, despite his brain screaming for things to be different, he could only stay there as the _Noah _pulled himself up and snapped himself back down. Rhythmically. Forcefully. Wantonly. Something inside him was turning. Winding up tightly, like a toy soldier who is over-wound and forgotten. He could only think in brief flashes of coherency as he filled that small body and hands that were not his own caressed his bruised body. He braced himself on the couch, the _Noah _raising himself and dropping down. He could see the stark contrast of several blood spatters on the Fourteenth's skin, skin that used to be pale. The small boy swiveled his hips, roughly pushing himself down to the point where Kanda knew there would be bruises on Allen's body. It called to him, his tongue snaking out to taste it, taste the blood staining the _Noah_'s skin. It might have been his; it might have been the others. His lips descended to lick at the crimson lifeblood, smearing it around and lapping at the metallic flavor. His hips stilled as he latched onto a dusky nipple, grey against ashen skin. His teeth clamped down moments later as he gnawed on the solid nub of flesh and that slender body moved against him, leaning down and crushing him tightly against it, as if wanting him to suckle on it like a newborn child.

He bit down harder, moving his mouth up to the creature's throat to mark him with a bruised mouth. The _Noah_'s hands moved from his own cock and latched onto the Japanese's shoulders, pulling himself down against the older teen's straining prick.

"Yum, Yu, I'm glad I chose you to play with now," the _Noah_ drew back, pleased smile on his bloodied lips that he wiped clean seconds later.

He leaned down to dip his warm tongue inside the gash in Kanda's shoulder. That drew a string of expletives from the dark-haired man, though they were growled with such ardor that it didn't sound like much of a threat. Golden eyes stared at him as his teeth found the edge of the cut, biting the flesh there and pulling away. Kanda snapped back, removing his injured shoulder from the abusive mouth despite the white ribbons still holding him in place, earning him a rattling grin as the _Noah_ began to move on top of him again. The grinning Musician gripped his shoulders with crushing strength, driving solidly down onto him.

"Mmm, you're filling me up greatly, Yu." Panting, the _Noah _bit his bottom lip as he continued to move his hips. "Allen-_rin _was like a princess, so submissive and placid, he didn't even put up a worthwhile fight. But you're different from him, he was such a meek little bitch."

"Don't talk about him," he ground out, trying to fight off the pleasurable sensations cursing through his body. "Don't you fucking dare say his name."

The _Noah_ didn't miss a beat, thrusting himself down greedily onto Kanda's member, fingers on the Japanese's hips drawing blood. "Heh, you're more like a queen," he purred with a vicious grin.

"Fuck you," Kanda tried lashing out with his good arm, white ribbons slightly looser than before, but the _Noah_ held him tightly.

Leaning forward, the Musician pressed him down harshly to the couch while keeping a tight grip on his hips. "I don't think so. Allen-_rin_ might have been kind enough to allow your attitude, but I'm nothing like him." He snapped his hips down, a breathy moan slipping past his lips, utmost pleasure filling his expression. He kept his hips pressed downwards, holding Kanda's cock between his thighs as he leaned forward, pressing their bodies together as he drew up close to Kanda's face, contorted with a scowl of pleasure.

"I don't give a shit about you," Kanda grunted in pleasure, his legs trying to kick the other's legs away, the blood-loss affecting him now more than ever.

Giggling, the _Noah_ began to simply let himself fall down. "It sounds to me like you want to do this again, Yu…oh…" His body jerked in short, tight movements that had Kanda grinding against his entrance.

The _Noah_ squeezed his thighs, clamping down on Kanda's invading length and gripping his own with his left hand. He could see the lust burning deep in the _Noah_'s eyes, felt the throbbing need inside him, crackling with the oncoming release.

Breathing more heavily, the _Noah _squeezed the tip of his own cock, roughly running his thumb and index finger down before giving up and making a fist. More of those breathy little sounds escaping his lips as he continued to ride him.

His head fell forward, sweat-soaked brow pressed to Kanda's collarbone. He didn't care, he was beyond words. He was beyond thought. The little sounds coming from him were raspy and hitching on some scratchy moan that he couldn't seem to stop vocalizing. His hips began to jerk upwards in shorter, erratic bursts. Blood was pumping through his form, diverted towards the one organ that felt every touch, every scrape, every change in temperature as it sank deep into that constricting heat. In, out, in, in, further in, fucking deeper _inside_ until his lungs let loose a guttural groan.

Damn it, why was he enjoying himself so much? He felt the other's body convulsing above him, the _Noah_'s throaty cry rasping in blind ecstasy. The sound echoed the feeling that was churning in his guts. The small boy's fingers faltered along his own cock, the fingers of his right hand digging into Kanda's hips drove him over the edge and he felt the beginnings of his orgasm. Kanda could feel the build-up inside of him. Like a heavy weight of snow finally giving way from its perch on a mountain summit, crashing along the slopes, wiping out everything in its path. He gritted his teeth, biting back the moan that instead choked in his throat. He was seeing white, bleached white bliss. Those thighs tightened around his member, driving him into that delicious tightness deep into the _Noah_'s body while his orgasm possessed him. Even with his injured arm, it was all he could do to keep from crushing the boy's slender hips into pieces. He couldn't see. Couldn't think. The feeling was enough to erase how disgusted he felt and replace the crushing feeling with nothingness.

He heard the other snort when the feel of the _Noah_ withdrawing himself from his body brought him back to reality. He felt the absence of that stretched heat, saw a wetness leaking from the boy that seemed to quickly catch the golden-eyed male's attention, lips forming a smile as he sat on Kanda's legs.

"You're not too bad, Yu," came the throaty call from the _Noah_ as he curiously spread his thighs to look at his semen as it lazily spilled from his entrance. "Oh, it's all coming out, how strange."

Coating his ashen fingers with the thick, sticky substance running down his thighs along with some blood, the boy brought his soiled digits to his mouth, tasting the warm seed with his tongue. "Yum, you taste really good too. Maybe you can feed me more of your milk later, I wouldn't mind having you fill me up again."

He was still breathing harshly, cheeks flushed and damp hair sticking to his bloodied forehead as those red stained ribbons swiftly snapped, unwinding from his limbs. The deep wound on his right shoulder was already halfway healed, still aching as the last white ribbons abandoned his bruised neck, leaving behind purple wounds that were sure to be gone by nightfall. There was bile in his mouth, disgusting and acidic as he shakily sat up with the help of his trembling left hand.

Sweet laughter filled the room as the _Noah _jumped to his feet, already dressed in a long-sleeved shirt that left his long legs visible to see. Just like the white liquid still trickling down his thighs, something that didn't seem to be bothering the smiling child one bit. There were no traces of blood on that childish face, spotless and pretty just like it had always been, so damn fucking innocent and angelic.

He said nothing-could say nothing as he tried to hold down the almost unbearable wave of shame and disgust clenching in his gut, threatening to burst at any second. He swallowed, acid taste in his mouth and a shaky breath escaped his lips as he tried to get a hold of himself.

What the hell had he done? What the hell had he _done_? Clenching his teeth, he looked at his stomach, stained with the other's seed, saw his own release soiling those slender legs mixed with scarlet blood as the _Noah _cheerily whistled a tune, carelessly dancing around the room as he swung his arms above his head. His eyes widened, and before he could stop himself, he was leaning over the couch, empting his stomach as his shoulders trembled and panic seized him. He didn't know how much time passed before he managed to stop the light shaking of his shoulders, the almost desperate horror filling his body, or the sickening and disgusting shame he felt when he heard that sweet cheery laughter again.

Golden eyes danced with clear amusement, cherubic lips forming a small and childish pout. "So I can guess you didn't like it as much as I did?…oh well. We can always try again later, first times are never perfect after all." He reached over to recover the samurai's sword from the pool of blood on the floor.

Kanda mechanically caught his weapon as it sailed through the air, wiping his mouth with the back of a trembling hand. He managed to re-sheathe it somehow and make himself presentable with one arm as he tried to drown the disgust he felt and stop the crushing guilt from striking him in front of the grinning _Noah_. He wouldn't show any more weakness in front of him, surrendering to him even more than he'd already done would make all the turmoil inside of him come undone and leave him completely bare for the cynic creature to see everything he didn't want him to see of him.

The golden-eyed boy smirked at that, a satisfied sound of amusement breaking from his throat and he sprang to his feet, light as a feather as he stood behind him in the blink of an eye. Slender arms wrapped around his shoulders, chin leaning against the curve of his neck as hot breath washed over his collarbone while petal soft lips placed gentle kisses on his bloodied skin. He didn't move, completely stiff as he balled his hands into tight fists at his sides and tried to ignore the warm body behind him. Pretend it was someone else.

"I think I'm going like this arrangement, Yu," he chirped in a cheery voice. "I've already got some ideas for our next little game, all the things I can do to you…"

Deeply inhaling, the Musician nuzzled one of those still rosy cheeks against his own, ashen skin now ghostly pale and golden eyes the color of rain. "Don't forget, my door is always open for you."

Kanda felt an even bigger wave of disgust at that, the feeling almost enough to physically ache in another part of him that wasn't his chest. Placing one last kiss on his neck, the small boy behind him pulled away from his back. He watched the _Noah_ turn and open a door that hadn't been there before, leaving him alone in the now completely spotless white room. The once broken window merrily blinked at him, undisturbed by their encounter, and the same could be said for the couch. No pools of blood or crimson soaked petals on the white floors, no sign of the struggle that had transpired here, of how much he had soiled that little idiot's memory.

The white piano also stood proud in the colorless room, silent and serene, no lulling tones playing as his dark eyes stared at his reflection in the once shattered window.

He sat down on the couch, hands trembling as he buried his face in them and did nothing but wait for the disgust to pass.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"Fuck, you look like shit. What's wrong, Yu-_chan_?"

He didn't look at the red-head, ignoring the light tone of concern in the rabbit's voice as he continued to eat.

Scowling, seeming peeved that he was ignoring him, Lavi lightly elbowed his shoulder. "Come on, what's wrong with you today, grumpy pants? Where's that sunny smile that just radiates death like nothing else can?"

Ignoring him still, he took a sip of his tea, winced when the eye-patch wearing teen brushed against a still healing wound he had obtained the night before. His hand stilled, and he bit the inside of his cheek when he recalled that memory: golden eyes, that ever present mocking smile, and those burning touches…that laughter.

"Yu?"

His stomach clenched, and he tasted bile in his mouth. A shaky hand placed the small teacup down, and he threw the apprentice Bookman a dark glare when he tried to touch his shoulder. "You're touching me," he simply snapped, knowing the other would get the message.

Shrugging his shoulders, more than used to his attitude, Lavi leaned against his arms. "Lena wanted me to ask you something, didn't listen to me when I said you probably didn't know and-"

"Get to the fucking point."

Holding his hands in front of him, the red-head laughed. "Whoa, whoa, hold your horses there, bucko. She just wanted to know if you knew where the _Moyashi-chan _went to all the time. I haven't seen the kid a lot either," he stated more seriously, green eye narrowed. "I considered asking his stalker but then thought better of it. Because if Allen-_chan _is getting a breather I don't want to get him in trouble, hell, I'd want to get out of here too if I wasn't allowed out of my room without supervision."

He tensed, shoulders and back stiff as he snapped his chopsticks in half. Controlling his voice, he scoffed. "Why the hell would I know anything about that brat? I'm not his fucking babysitter."

Rolling his eye, Lavi stole a loaf of bread from a passing finder. "Well, I'm just saying."

Then, his voice was one again tinted with concern, his green eye looking at the short-haired Chinese girl chatting with the crazy cook in the kitchen. There was a smile on Lenalee's lips, violet eyes cheery as she laughed at something the pink-haired man said. But even Kanda and his indifference managed to notice something different about it. He didn't have to guess, or hear the rabbit's explanation, to know why. It was too obvious, he had noticed it too. And in a way, as twisted as it was, he was glad.

"She's worried, man. Allen doesn't talk to her as much as he used to, and she's been depressed about that. Thinks the kid doesn't like her anymore and so I though, since you often train together now, if you knew-"

"I said I don't fucking know, damn it!" he gritted out, hands hitting the table and knocking his tea over, the hot liquid spilling and burning the red-head's thigh.

"Ow, Yu-_chan_, there's no need for violence," the other whined, pout on his lips as he tried to wipe the liquid.

Lenalee was looking at them now, brows furrowed and smile now gone. Again, Kanda found himself glad that the _Noah _wasn't wooing her too, that he didn't spend as much time together with her like that little idiot had. His own, clumsy, and shy way of courting her.

Teeth grinding against each other, he cursed before he stormed out of the cafeteria, well aware that everybody was staring at him as he turned a corner and disappeared out of their sight. But he didn't care, he was too pissed to give a rats ass about what any of them could think of him. Pissed at the mother fucking rabbit for always sticking his nose when it didn't belong, and, of course, pissed at himself.

He slammed his door shut behind him, striking the wall closest to him with a clenched fist. Again, he had done the same thing again. Protecting that monster, making sure no one found out that their precious little Allen Walker was now gone, replaced by one of their enemies. That he was now nothing more but a shell housing a demon, a monster, a murderer. And he knew why, why he kept on doing it.

Kanda didn't want them to find out about his dirty secret. His disgusting shame and the guilt that he had to carry in his chest every day, the pressure almost enough to crush him. Because he was keeping the _Noah _safe for his sake too, it wasn't only about Allen anymore. Not anymore, not when he finally had what he had always wanted. Even if it was only a mockery of it, a faux that could shatter at any movement. He knew that, knew it too well. That this, whatever they had, was only an illusion. A game of pretend and nothing else.

The Musician would never be Allen Walker, but having him was as close as Kanda would ever get to that stubborn brat.

Clenching his teeth, he cursed, not the least bit startled when he heard an almost inaudible sound. Footsteps, light as a feather. A predator stalking his prey.

"I've been waiting for you, Yu," a melodious, lulling, voice murmured behind him, the sound of his door gently closing. "It got boring without you, those other humans are no fun, I like you and your pessimistic attitude better."

He didn't turn to look at him, didn't say anything and walked up to the Lotus sitting at the little table by the side of his bed. He was standing next to him before he touched the glass, leaning over his shoulder to look at the softly glowing flower, a small pout against the skin of his neck.

"You'd rather stare at this stupid flower than play with me?" he childishly asked, a whiny tone to his voice. "But I'm prettier than that thing, and besides,"

Small hands slammed him against the wall behind him, dancing fingers swiftly taking his sword from his belt and then the tip of the hilt was tipping his chin up, golden eyes filled with enjoyment.

"I can provide you with much better amusement."

When he finally looked at him, the first thing he noticed was that the _Noah _was wearing nothing but a long-sleeved shirt that looked a couple of sizes too big for him. One that looked very familiar. He later recognized it as one of his own, but said nothing as the smiling boy slowly sat at his feet, legs spread for him as the grin turned into a leer.

He was also wearing nothing underneath his shirt. But he didn't ask why, he had learned that the little freak was unable to give a straight answer a long time ago. Always shrouded by secrets, wearing them like a cloak.

Dark lashes brushed against rosy cheeks, slightly damp hair sticking to his forehead as the _Noah _examined his _Innocence_, and Kanda figured he must have just gotten out of the showers. Clicking his tongue, the boy ran his fingers across the hilt, lips curling into a smile. "What a pretty sword, you won't mind if I play with it do you, Yu?"

Again, he said nothing, knowing his words wouldn't matter in the least. The little freak always managed to twist his words around, hitting a nerve and that was the reason why all their so called 'meetings' started with a fight and ended with both of them in Kanda's bed. So he said nothing, dark eyes staring at the smiling boy as he abruptly placed his sword between his legs.

"I think we should play a different game today, love."

A black smile graced the pink cupid lips. Seductive and there was nothing of the bashful boy he had known in it. Nothing of the stupid child who had always been too embarrassed to take a shower when other people were around because he was too self-conscious of his body. And how Kanda hated it. But even so he could do nothing as the boy at his feet began to rub his body against his _Innocence_. Rubbing the katana against his creamy thighs with enjoyment on his face as small little pants escaped his rosy lips. Then, those dark colored fingers sultrily caressed the hilt of his Mugen, a soft cheek pressing against the cool metal and the boy moaned. Loud and content as he pressed those luscious pale pink lips to the sword in an open-mouthed kiss. Kanda did nothing but passively stare at him, lips a thin line when a pink tongue flicked out and licked the blade.

"Maybe…you'd rather I have some fun with your beloved Mugen, Yu." Giggles, swollen lips parting open as the _Noah _pressed the hilt of his sword to his mouth. Golden eyes looked at him from underneath dark lashes, and they were full of nothing but amusement and corrupted lust. Licking the excess saliva trickling down his mouth when he pulled away from the Innocence, the Fourteenth coyly smiled up at him from his position at the foot of his bed.

"I can give you quite a show with it. Although I'm sure little Allen-_rin_'s body would protest, but I assure you you'll like it." Laughing, the small child spread his legs open and placed the sword in between them. The black of the hilt only made the pale creaminess of his thighs stand out even more, specially when they were lewdly squeezing the _Innocence_ every couple of seconds. "It's bigger than the old one, so I'm sure his body will bleed at bit but it's nothing _I _can't handle."

"Why are you doing this?" was the only thing he could say, barely managing to look at the boy at his feet, hands trembling as his breathing sped up. He had wondered before, for the past month, why the _Noah _was going through all the trouble of doing all of this: messing with his head, breaking him little by little no matter how hard he fought to stay in control. He had never met the Fourteenth, didn't know anything about him until that fateful day where Komui had announced those new orders. The Musician acted as if he hated him, yet was amused by his actions and was, to some level, fond of him if the way he sometimes handled him so gently said anything to go by. It didn't make sense, no matter how much he thought about it and twisted the matter in his head, it didn't…

Or, maybe…it was Allen who the _Noah _had a grudge on?

Cheery smile disappearing, the golden eyes dulled and darkened with an anger that Kanda had never once seen on either him or Allen. It was violent, twisting those pretty features into an ugly look that didn't suit him at all.

"He took Mana away from me, so I'll take you away from him. It's only fair, that way we'll finally be even," he murmured, then, his expression darkened and filled with more fury as he roughly threw his _Innocence_ to the side.

The sword clattered across the floor and he wasn't even faced, something that no longer surprised him. "It's his fault, all his fault that he couldn't keep his promise, the one _we _made together, so I'll make sure he won't be able to keep any of his promises either."

Mana. He had never heard that name either, or if it even was a name to begin with. But the tone the child used when he said that word, it was so tender, the exact same voice Allen had used whenever he was speaking of everyone he held close to his heart. No. It held much more affection than that, an almost deep possession and jealousy to that loving tone. It was stupid, and he wanted to slap himself for it, but he wanted to know who that person was. Who he or she was to be able to cause such human feelings in a person who was supposed to be nothing but a heartless killer. But before he could even open his mouth, he was slammed against the wall, the furious boy standing in front of him, knee against his crotch.

"He was always crying. Always, so much that it got annoying. Always asking to be let out. That he didn't like it there, that it was too cold and too dark and that the snow never stopped falling." A scoff, a roll of those golden eyes and the _Noah _crossed his arms as his anger slowly began to fade away.

He hated it. The differences, the way he could so easily control his emotions, unlike that stupid little idiot. It ruined the illusion, it shattered the stupid game of pretend he still wanted to keep on playing no matter how much it would hurt in the end.

"Now he knows how I felt, locked inside that place for all those years."

Locked, always locked. In here, in this place he used to call 'home'. He had been locked here too, by the same people he had considered his family. It was ironic, that no matter where he went, that kid was never allowed to have that freedom Kanda had known he had wanted. Happily ever after, it seemed that was never meant to exist for stupid, stubborn, martyrs.

"He used to cry for you too, you know. Your name is something I always used to hear."

Wrapping his slender arms around his neck, the other leaned against his body and buried his face in his shoulder. Kanda stiffened, hating the way his body reacted to the way those hands caressed his body, even when he knew that despite their appearance, they weren't _his _hands anymore.

Kissing his jaw, the smiling _Noah _buried his hands in his dark hair. "'Kanda, Kanda, Kanda, why haven't you killed me yet? Why, I don't want to be here anymore, please don't let him hurt anyone'." Laughing, hands still whispering across his torso, the Fourteenth grinned at him.

"He was so cute, always worrying about everyone but himself. Is that what attracted you to him, that disgusting vulnerability that makes you want to break him until there's nothing left of him?"

Sighing, the _Noah _licked his lips. Kanda didn't say anything, tried not to move as their bodies were pressed closer together.

"I used to be able to see him. He was always there, standing behind me." A smile. Cruel and full of dark satisfaction. "He's the one trapped in the mirror now."

The mirror. Was that why he had always seemed to look at his reflection?

"I can see why you like the boy so much, Yu," Chuckling, the _Noah_ pressed his lips to the dark tattoo on his chest, warm tongue trailing the dark tendrils wrapped around his torso and Kanda couldn't help but shiver. "He was a very sweet boy after all."

The deranged giggles made Kanda want to grip his Innocence, made him want to ignore the fact that they have the _same _face.

His right hand didn't move.

His stomach clenched in disgust, and he gripped the slender hips even tighter. Allen, the Noah, the _thing_, doesn't seem to mind and only pressed his small body against his own, so much that he could smell that soothing scent of spring and the warmth that his frame was giving off.

He wanted to push him away. Wanted to kill him, leave this room and never look at those gold colored eyes and atrocious, cynic smile. But, most of all, he wanted to stop his hands from caressing the supple skin underneath his fingers. From inhaling that sweet smell and allowing the small boy to rid him of his clothes, warm fingers sensually unclasping the buttons of his shirt as those gentle kisses continued.

But he didn't.

"So thank your lucky stars Allen-_rin _liked you so much, Yu. "

Closing his eyes, he grittted his teeth when those soft lips drifted down lower and lower, now being placed on his navel as warm hands unbuckled his belt.

"Does that thought excite you? I guess it would, you wanted to make the kid yours for a long time. Too bad he never noticed that, always too busy trying to save the world he loved so much to see how much _you _loved him."

It's repulsive, his lips forming a disgusted grimace. But even so he can feel himself harden without wanting to. And it only increases his already high level of self-disgust, makes him feel as if he's soiling the brat's memory and destroying it bit by bit. Little by little, until there's nothing left of it. And there wasn't anymore, the last part of the stubborn boy was standing right in front of him, being worn by someone he should have killed a long time ago, something he couldn't bring himself to do no matter how much he tried. He could kill him, the _Noah _would never see it, his hands wrapping around his throat...

But he wantedto see Allen again. He knew that. He wanted the boy's cocky smirks and warm smiles again, their old fights and childish bickering. He had already been more than willing to accept that. More than that, though, he just wanted to see the stupid brat, those silver eyes and hear that childish laughter ringing like bells. Even if nothing had ever happened between them, even if meeting up with the boy didn't lead to getting hot and sweaty and sated, he wanted to see the other exorcist. He knew that better than anything else, that it would have been more than impossible to ever have the boy completely to himself if things had stayed the way they had been.

He ignored the dull ache in the vicinity of his heart, moving to lean against the wall behind him. The stonewall felt cold and the air too comfortable, too empty. And all he could think of was that he had been too slow, he had been too late.

Allen had never felt more towards him than comradeship, maybe a little bit more than that. But never beyond that, he knew that for sure. But this person, the _Noah_, he was giving him everything he had always wanted and more, he was giving him what he had never been able to have in a golden platter.

So as he closed his eyes, he couldn't help the stray thought telling him that, since the damage was already done, he may as well enjoy himself a little bit longer before the inevitable conclusion. All of his mistakes were already piled up too high, and there was no way back. Not anymore, not after everything he had already done and allowed to happen.

"Your eyes," he muttered, hating himself as he gripped the smaller exorcist's shoulders. "They're not the same color, get rid of them."

Slowly, a small smile formed on that childish face he was so familiar with. "You want me to look like him? Alright, today will be your day then, I'll play Allen Walker just for you."

Burying his face in his shoulder, the _Noah _deeply inhaled, right arm curling around his back until oval shaped nails dug into his skin. Hot breath tickled his warm skin, and then soft hair brushed his face before silver eyes stared up at him, almost colorless skin as those stigmata slowly disappeared until there was nothing left of them as a coarse left hand freed his erection. Kneeling in front of him, smile playing on his pink lips, the small boy leaned over and softly blew on his swollen member. He hissed, hand on the boy's shoulders, wrenching hard enough that it threw the unsuspecting boy out of balance for a couple of seconds.

Allen had turned his head at the last moment, and it was his cheek and not his teeth that ended up falling against his erection. But once it was there…

Pale, slender fingers dug into his thighs for a second before Allen righted himself so he was resting once again completely on his knees, but his cheek-his cheek turned, brushing against his rigid flesh and making Kanda swallow until it became lips. And lips parted excitedly, Allen's breath warm, until Kanda no longer felt flesh but pure wet heat.

He growled low in his throat, looking down at silver-plated eyes rimmed dark with amusement as they looked back up at him. It was the first time, that he had ever seen that kind of look on that infantile face, like the way he did now with his mouth wide around his cock, a furrow between his brows, his cheek flushed with the lightest of pinks.

Fingers trembling, knowing it was wrong, _sick _and that no matter what he did, it wasn't the same, he clamped down on the hair in his hand, driving forward, sawing in and out of Allen's trembling mouth.

The look of those pink lips surrounding his cock…Kanda hissed.

As he started getting closer to orgasm, he bent forward, pulling Allen's head further back to allow for the movement. Allen's hands clutched at his thighs as he tried to keep his balance, his breathing coming faster, Kanda reached down and found Allen's nipple through the fabric of his shirt, found it and pinched down on it hard.

Allen moaned around his member, his eyes closing. Kanda groaned at the vibration, at the feel of Allen's throat convulsing around him. Allen's hand came up to his, trying to pull it away. At the same time his other hand started pushing at his thigh, his head trying to twist to the side, but Kanda responded by thrusting faster, harder, pinching down on the nipple between his fingers even harder.

Kanda groaned as he came, Allen's throaty moans making the orgasm flare brightly.

He wasn't even finished coming when he shoved Allen away from him, so a final shot fell onto the kid's face as he gasped on the ground, his weight supported on one hand as he shuddered and tried to catch his breath.

"You came a lot," the boy passively said after a couple of silent seconds, wiping his red cheeks and licking the Japanese's semen with his tongue. Kanda swallowed with difficulty when those pale, cum-coated fingers disappeared inside that warm mouth, when those rain colored eyes looked at him again. "Were you saving it all up for him? How sweet of you, Yu."

Leaning up against him, the child grabbed his face in his mismatched hands and pressed their lips together. The past kisses had been a taste, a moment of fire followed by the bitterness of ash. This kiss was an inferno.

In order to keep his thoughts away from what he was doing, the way he was betraying that idiot he had grown so fond of, Kanda poured himself into the kiss, desperate and hungry. His tongue, slick and persistent, explored Allen's mouth as Allen stilled in slight surprise, rubbing against his flesh eagerly. And when Allen finally took control, he still wasn't passive. He sucked and nipped and rolled his tongue, diving into the kiss with abandon.

Fingers curled around his black tresses, pulling at them to deepen the kiss, and he let by his response, Kanda didn't sample from Allen's mouth, he gorged himself. Allen was hot and wet and moaning and clutching at him with his arms and legs, soft skin against his own and again that damn sweet smell of lavender that was the same yet wasn't at the same time.

It was mixed with peppermint.

It was quite some time before Allen finally pulled back, both of their breathing fast and sharp. Somehow, during the exchange, he'd let all his body weight rest on Kanda's, and there was no denying the hard proof of the child's excitement digging into his hip. Noticing what his eyes were looking at, the sweet little smile on those cherubic lips morphed into a wicked grin.

"Ah, well, I guess I should give you a different taste today. I can always play with you tomorrow."

He looked at Kanda with enjoyment in his eyes, and he in turn was staring at the swollen, red lips that were open as the snow-haired boy softly murmured his name.

"Yu." Sweet, illicit honey coated the letters that made up that word, and he could feel himself chocking on how alike their voices were. "Yu, tell me, what have you always wanted to do to him?"

He tried to look away, yet knew he couldn't so he didn't try that hard. "Touch yourself," he finally said. He wanted release, wanted it so badly that he thought he might actually come if Allen so much as _looked_ at him, but he kept himself reigned in. A little bit longer. He would play this game just a little bit longer.

Not saying anything, the boy slowly rid himself of the only piece of clothing he was wearing, slowly unbuttoning each button. Neither of them made a sound until a pale, small hand wrapped around the child's member, and Allen's breath hitched once he began to stroke himself with slow, firm movements. Closing his eyes, pale lashes caressing rosy cheeks, he softly began to pant as the movements of his hand increased, a second hand joining the right one. Thighs trembling, he gasped when he ran his thumb against the slit of his male, pre-cum soon coating his fingers and all Kanda could do was vainly try to pry his eyes away from the scene, knowing he wouldn't be able to so he didn't try too hard.

Shoulders trembling, face flushed, the snow-haired boy bit his bottom lip as his back arched into his hands. Gasping, white tresses sticking to his sweaty forehead, he swallowed as white, sticky liquid coated his hands and fingers, some of it staining his still trembling blinked slightly dazed eyes, then grinned again when he licked his fingers clean of his own essence as he stretched his arms above his head. Kanda doubted he was aware of how lewdly he was displayed.

"Well, is that all you want, Yu?"

He didn't say move, just swallowed as he looked at the boy. "On all fours," he managed to grind out, hands trembling until he balled them into fists before nearing the small boy, heart hammering against his ribcage the whole way. He kneeled in front of him, chest constricting when he saw those flushed, damp cheeks and those half-lidded silver eyes. Grabbing his shoulders, the fingers of his left hand traced the strange markings branded on the skin of his left shoulder, the texture of them just as soft as the rest of his velvet flesh.

Breathing heavily, the petite child sat on his bed, his knees and hands supporting him. On all fours, just like he had said. Shaking in anticipation, he lined himself up with Allen's entrance as those silver eyes looked away from him, visibly embarrassed. Then, he thrust forward.

Distantly, he was aware of Allen crying out and writhing underneath him, but it felt too good to finally be inside of him to fully register it. Even tighter than before, Allen was more than enough to make Kanda's eyes want to roll up in the back of his head. He'd always desired to have him like this, so much that had lost count of the days, and he hammered forward, gripping Allen's hips and forcing him back. His teeth bared, he kept changing the angle of his strokes until-

He groaned, lightheaded, as Allen began to struggle on his cock, panting, his entrance clenching tight around him unmistakably in orgasm. Even as Allen clamped around him greedily, trying to lock him in place, he thrust through the resistance, refusing to stop, Allen's cries goading him on. He snarled, his eyes dark, as the ring of muscle scraped and maddened him.

He wrenched Allen back until a soft cry stopped him, until Allen's hands were over his head, his legs under his body, his ass an offering up to Kanda. He bared his teeth as he took in Allen's shuddering back, his sobs, the way his head hung down submissively.

His hips slammed into Allen, making his body jerk. He wanted to come so badly. He fucked Allen as if thrusting into him harder and harder could eventually rid him of the damn, disgusting guilt crushing his chest.

"Y-Yu-Ah!"

He could hear Allen calling him, begging for a reprieve, but it wasn't as important as driving himself into the wet heat, feeling Allen's flesh give way to him. He leaned forward, jabbing into Allen as he bit down on reddened skin, needing to mark him, claim him for his own. He reached forward and grabbed onto his shoulders, breaching into Allen with all his strength.

Allen's screams were drowning out the pounding of his heart in his ears, the rumbling in his throat. Allen clenched around him once again, sobbing, pleading.

"Again," Allen demanded. "Again!"

He pulled out and flipped Allen over, plunging back inside immediately. Allen muttered his name in broken little pants, hands tightly clenched, tears damping his cheeks adorned with a lovely blush that stood out against his pale skin. But he forgot about all of that when those small hips pushed against him, driving his cock deeper into that warm, tight body. Panting, he caressed the boy's pale thighs with his right hand, drifting higher and higher until his hand was at the joining of their bodies, and he was dimly aware of the teary silver eyes staring at him with slight fear before he plunged two of his fingers inside that clenching entrance.

He hissed at the sensation, even as Allen muffled a breathless cry, convulsing. Something warm coated his fingers, coppery and smelling slightly metallic but he ignored it, paid no mind to it as he drowned himself in the feeling of being inside the child's small body, the sensation of the sixteen-year-old bucking into him.

He pulled out his fingers, groaning at the loss. Allen flinched, his whole body trembling, his chest rising and falling quickly with his gasping breaths.

He cursed vehemently as he leaned back, struggling to keep at least a little bit of his control. He held on to Allen's upraised thigh, pulling him along with him, refusing to lose the connection even for a second. He ignored Allen's choked cry, but when he finally had the boy in a better position, he turned back and had to stop. Allen's body was stretched taut, the muscles of his neck and chest standing out in sharp relief as his arms twisted above his head, holding onto the bedposts, legs spread to make room for his body. His fisted hands holding tight to the wood of the bed, and the shivers running all along his body gave mute testament to his enjoyment.

And Kanda hadn't even noticed before, too caught up in his desire for release, but Allen was covered in his semen from his previous orgasms, his stomach, chest and even his pale and slender neck glistening. The way it caught the light as Allen shuddered and gasped…it was mesmerizing.

This brat, he had always managed to allure him, and how he hated him for that. Even now, even now when he knew that this wasn't him. Even if they looked the same. Ignoring the uncomfortable tightness in his chest-the one he knew exactly what it was-he focused on the matter at hand. On the now, on this one chance he had never been able to have before with the one he really wanted.

He assured himself that his hands weren't shaking even the tiniest bit when he reached down and pinched Allen's nipple, slippery from his semen. But he really was a little bit nervous.

Allen's eyes snapped open, teary and wide at the first pressure. He complained a little, twisting his chest, his entrance clenching down forcefully.

Kanda groaned, his head sagging for a second as white light flashed and a wave of dizziness hit him. He forced fluttering eyelids to open, his hips thrusting irregularly with a mind of their own as Allen struggled.

"Yu," the boy panted, scarlet blush on his cheeks. Wincing, he bit his bottom lip and Kanda grinned at that. Little bastard, even if he refused to admit it, he was in pain. Because it was _his_ body, and that little imbecile's body wasn't used to the rough treatment, to the pain of being taken dry and without any sort of preparation.

Allen clenched down so hard on Kanda's cock that when Kanda came to a second later, his body was bent forward and his weight rested on one hand. He shook his head once again, hard, to clear the dizziness and pleasure-fogged thoughts. Deciding to take advantage of his position, he slipped both of Allen's legs over his shoulders, and bending him nearly in half, enjoying the hitched groan, he leaned forward and bit down sharply on the child's shoulder, plowing into him.

He had never heard Allen sound like that before, his voice breaking, the raw sounds shattered.

Kanda growled around the muscle in his teeth, fighting the urge to keep biting down until he marked Allen completely, until blood filled his mouth and spilled over, until Allen bared his throat and submitted to him absolutely.

Allen whimpered as if hearing his thoughts.

The sound enflamed him.

Kanda pulled off his shoulder, his teeth scraping against quivering flesh, and bit down on another piece of flesh. He needed to leave his mark, needed to brand himself into Allen's body and soul, needed to ensure that Allen never forgot him, never escaped him.

He wouldn't leave scars. But he would make damn certain Allen would always remember him.

He rammed into Allen's body. Fuck, when had he stopped moving? _Why_ had he stopped? Allen was so tight now, and with each bite, the pressure just got better and better.

"Y-Yu, ah, Yu!"

He liked the way the kid said his name like a mantra, like it would somehow stop him, like it would somehow save him.

He forced his hand between them, and for the second time-the second time in the year he'd known him-Kanda grabbed his cock and started pumping. Fingers stroking hard and fast, not stopping to think about how the other felt, if he was enjoying it as much he was. There was no room for that, no room for anything else that wasn't the way it felt so good to be inside that warm heat.

"Haa, Yu."

He shuddered, the pleasure coursing through his body at the way Allen screamed his name.

"Mmh, Yu" Allen moaned brokenly, pre-cum leaking onto Kanda's fingers. "Keep going."

"Shut up. Don't say anything," Kanda gritted out as he started to pound impossibly harder. They may look the same, their voices may be identical, but thy spoke completely differently. He would never call him by his first name, would never say those words. And as disgusting and twisting as it was, as shameful as he felt, it ruined the illusion; breaking the game of pretend into a million little pieces.

It was probably the biggest mistake he'd ever do, and if he weren't focused on getting somehow even deeper into Allen's quivering body, on the feel of Allen's ass burning into his thighs, on the danger of Allen's entrance threatening to break him in half as he bit down on his neck, he would've been sick to his stomach. That atrocious, biting disgust always present, the one that had made the past month a living hell.

"Ah, Yu, harder."

Allen should always look like this, teary-eyed, covered in cum, bruises and bite marks, desperate and pleading, supple and willing underneath him. He'd somehow come to a complete stop again staring at Allen. So even though he was panting for breath, his words were remarkably clear when he said, "Kanda."

"Wha-what?" the boy managed to say, chest heaving up and down as he tried to control his breathing.

"Kanda, not Yu." He punctuated his words with hard thrusts that had Allen's back bowing off the bed, his hand squeezing and rubbing the head of his member.

"K-Kanda?" the boy murmured, voice hoarse and there were more tears rolling down his scarlet cheeks as Kanda started going faster in reply, his smile feral. "Kanda, I like Yu better," Allen panted, biting his bottom lip as he softly moaned again.

"If you can't do it," he growled, slamming harder, "then just shut the fuck up until I'm finished."

Allen's body contorted, his cry rising in volume, pale legs trembling, his expression tortured yet amused at the same time. Kanda sneered outwardly while wondering if his heart was going to explode in his chest. He spread those quaking thighs as far as they would go, using all the power in his legs and back to give Allen the force he required-the pain he required-to shut up.

"Don't stop, okay?" Allen was slightly trembling, sobbing, coming to pieces in front of him. "Isn't this what you've always wanted, him?" He swallowed, tears flowing down the side of his face.

"Kanda, haven't you always wanted Allen Walker?" he whispered, his voice almost lost.

Too much, it was all too much. He couldn't hold off any longer, not with Allen finally broken and vulnerable in front of him. Because even if it wasn't him, really him, they still had the same face, that same annoying yet alluring voice whispering his name and that annoying smell of lavender.

He pulled out just far enough to nearly be completely out of that small body, and then he was plunging back inside that incredible heat and tightness, inside his personal nirvana.

Inside Allen.

His hand spammed around Allen's cock, his head swimming, his teeth clenched, his whole body tense as he finally came, control torn from his grasp by the jerking of Allen's body. He had just enough presence of mind to bend forward and grab that flushed face, kissing those bruised lips before he lost it completely, and Allen's scream, the hot jet of cum across his fingers, the vice around his cock, accompanied him as the world went white.

He swayed, tremors wracking him, sound gradually returning, his vision slowly clearing until the white spots cleared, until he could see Allen underneath him.

Had Allen ever looked like this before?

Kanda barely caught himself on his elbows, and he forced himself to move. He moaned painfully as he finally pulled out. He was tired, both mentally and physically. And he was going to be incredibly sore just as soon as the endorphins faded. His cock was already extremely tender, and his back felt like it might give out on him.

"Allen," he murmured, inky strands of hair sticking to his sweaty back as he held his weight on his arms, not wanting to crush the small body underneath him. "Allen," he breathed out again, leaning his head against one of those slender shoulders, inhaling the smell of blood and sex mixed with that sweet scent clinging to the child's skin.

"Allen, I l-"

It was laughter that broke the twisted illusion. Those deranged, amused little giggles that escaped those pink cherubic lips as slender arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. And again, more laughter, shoulders trembling with it as Allen smiled against his cheek, lazily wrapping his pale legs around his waist.

Golden eyes locked with his own, dark skin and stigmata as the _Noah _gently kissed his lips, murmuring against them:

"My name isn't Allen, Yu." Caressing his face with tender touches, the Fourteenth nuzzled his face, sensually licking his bottom lip, gently biting it. "It's not polite you know, calling another man's name when you're in bed with me. How rude, you're breaking my heart."

Kanda gritted his teeth, closing his eyes as the small boy beneath him roughly pushed him on his back, straddling his hips. He didn't look at him, refused to make eye contact when soft hands were placed on his chest, fingers whispering across the dark tendrils of the tattoo wrapped around his torso. He felt the boy move, knees on each side of his waist as he whispered in his ear.

"Now it's my turn to play with my new doll, dear Yu."

They weren't the same, he knew that. Knew that better than anyone else, but it was the only thing he had left now.

_If I can alleviate some of the blood that pours from your crown of thorns,_

_Then I won't mind being your favorite doll._

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Ah, this one doesn't have a lot of plot holes (fuck you ch.186!), since the rest of the story is from the 14th's POV. Sigh, oh, well, I'll post the second part as soon as I'm able to, hope you enjoyed the…_ehem_, niceness of this story. If not, well, I don't expect everyone to share my sick fetish XD


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